Whatever You're Doing

"It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
All I can do is surrender

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything
I surrender...
To...

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
And tho it's hard to surrender to what I can't see
I'm giving in to something heavenly
Something heavenly

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This is something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Something heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time breathe in and let everything out"

I love this song by Sanctus Real. Every time I hear it, I do as it says... "Take a deep breath, let everything out". My shoulders release their weight. My heart swells. I remember. This journey that I'm on is bigger. Bigger than me.

I have many friends who are on journeys of their own. They're going through trials. They've been through trials. Whenever I hear this song I think of them.

As we get closer to the new year, this keeps ringing in my head...

"Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything
I surrender..."

Am I surrendering? Everything? Am I doing EVERYTHING to follow HIS will? Am I asking God where HE wants me? Am I asking God what HE wants from me?

I went to bed last night. Praying hard. Praying that God would help me be a better mom. That I would not be so impatient with my children. That instead of saying, "because I said so", that I would explain. Teach. That I would reflect God's love for them. That they would remember more than just an impatient, imperfect Mama. I don't mind them remembering the imperfect part. Shoot. Why would I want them to think otherwise. I'm not. They'll never be. Why pretend? But impatient? Nope. I want them to see God's love. God's patience. God.

Praying for a year full of blessings. Praying for God to continue to guide us along. Praying that we would remember to look to him. Every single second. Praying that I wouldn't give in to my flesh. Praying I choose God and not to be impatient.


Lord, you are beautiful. You are loving. You are patient. I pray that you would fill me with your peace. I pray that you would continue to guide me and carry me through. I pray that I would be able to bring you joy. That my life would make you smile. Thank you Jesus for loving me. Just as I am. Thank you for growing me. You are beyond amazing. I love you!