Prayer Please

A friend of mine needs a lot of prayer right now. Her home was invaded last night while she and her family were all there. God completely protected her, but it's still scary. Please be praying for their family. Thank you.

Perfection

Our weekend could be summed up in one word. Perfection. Plain and simple. Perfection.

It started with a last minute dinner with Cory's sister, brother-in-law and sweet sweet baby Jonas.

It continued with yard work and playing outside on Saturday.

Dinner with friends Saturday night.

A speed bump disguised as a cold Saturday night/Sunday morning that hit in a major way. We even got all dressed and headed to church and Home Depot... only to turn around and skip church. I was quite the bump on a log but enjoyed napping outside in the sun and loved watching my kids and neighbor kids play on the slip in slide in the backyard.

Back on track Monday morning when we packed up and headed out for a surprise destination. We love surprising our kids. LOVE. IT. Our kids? Yeah. Not so much. Our destination??

Multinomah Falls. It was beautiful!! The weather was fantastic. The attitudes were so so. We headed up the 1 mile trek to the top. Caden was a little fearful, but as long as we held his hand he was okay. Once we got to the top though... oh my. He was SO glad he made the journey. It was breath taking and the kids thought it was oh so cool (not to mention the banana slugs we saw along the way. Those things are HUGE!)

We ended our time at the falls with a picnic at the bottom and savored the gorgeous weather and amazing view. We had such a great time. We agreed this would not be done for another year. It was fun. It was tiring. Climbing a mile up while carrying a child much of the time? Yep. We'll see you again next year Multinomah Falls!

As we headed home, we decided to surprise our kids once again... but, I think I'll keep that one to myself for just a bit longer...

We pulled into the driveway around 3:30 and started chatting with our fantastic neighbors. This led to their backyard for some baseball, wine and weed pulling. Yep. Their yard is huge and we just kind of started weeding. Yep. We're sick like that. What seemed like 30 minutes later their yard was transformed and there were piles of weeds all waiting to be picked up.

Tired as can be, we headed home. Cereal for dinner and off to bed. The weekend could not have gone any better. We loved every second of our time together. We loved every moment in the sunshine. We laughed with family and friends. It was perfect.

Thank you Lord for such perfection here on earth. Thank you for such an amazing family. For wonderful friends. For sunshine and waterfalls. For weeds and wine. Thank you for our kids giggles, excitement and anticipation of what's to come.

Northern Arizona University... Part 3

My Story:
Part 1
Part 2

Off we went. Together. I was so excited for college. I was so excited to get away from the northwest. I knew that I would want to live here for the rest of my life. College was the one time that I could go see somewhere other than here.

Flagstaff was absolutely beautiful. Not too hot. AND we got snow too! We had only been there for a few days and were about to discover just how the seasonal monsoons worked. Cory and I left my dorm for the mailboxes and could tell that a storm was on it's way. We thought we had plenty of time. It couldn't come THAT fast. About half way to the post office, it's started dumping. By the time we made it back to my dorm, we were soaking wet and laughing hysterically. We knew that we would never get stuck in the middle of a storm again!

A few weeks into the school year, I was listening to a CD in my room and there was a little knock on the door. It was the girl down the hall. Her name was Krista. She recognized the singer and we started chatting. I don't truly remember much of that first conversation, but that girl down the hall became an amazing friend. We had so much fun together. We laughed. We cried. She was and is such a blessing to have as a friend.


Freshman year was spent hanging out with new friends. Griping about roommates. And continuing to learn how to get along. We had fun exploring what Northern Arizona had to offer and were amazed at all the beauty.

I was so excited to get home for Christmas break that year. My sister had just had her sweet baby boy on December 4th. I couldn't wait to get my hands on him and spent much of my break loving on my sweet nephew.

I remember the summer after freshman year. We had recently gotten home and Cory's mom and I were on our way to choir practice. I remember her saying that her leg was bothering her. I remember her saying that it reminded her of when her Dad starting showing signs of Lou Gehrig's. The Dr's thought that she was just having back problems. I remember her carrying a bag of peas around to ice her back...

We went back to school in the fall and I was so excited because my wonderful friend Krista was going to be my roommate. We had so much fun! We made some great friends down the hall and would often find ourselves getting in trouble for laughing too loud, too late. We even found ourselves getting blamed for doing backflips down the hall... backflips. Backflips??? This one blew me away since none of us had any clue as to just how to DO a backflip. But, I digress. Point is, we had LOTS of fun. And man, if I could only find those pictures...

October rolled around and our parents came down for parents weekend. Pam was having a really hard time walking. At this point, she was using a walker.

In November, we got news that the Dr's had officially diagnosed Pam with ALS/Lou Gehrig's. As hard as this was to hear, it wasn't entirely shocking. Pam's Dad had also had ALS. We were devastated.

We went home that Christmas and enjoyed every single ounce of time with Cory's mom.

Cory's mom was amazing. Words can't even begin to describe her. I cherish every memory of her. I cherish other people's stories of her. I cling to every little speck...

We went back to school for the 2nd semester and about a week or so later, Cory decided that he was going to go back home. He didn't want to miss any precious time with his mom. When he left, I lost it.

My wonderful friend, Krista, was also not my roommate. She had gotten a position as an R.A. but, thankfully, another friend was able to move in. She was a great roommate and a fantastic friend. She was so supportive when Cory was gone. When I cried for Pam. When I got angry.

I was able to come home at Valentine's Day and had a wonderful time with Cory and his family. Cory was also able to come down with my mom for a visit. I cherished every second with him.

The next time I came home, it was spring break. Pam had not been doing well at all. She was now in a hospice bed. I remember walking into their family room and seeing her face light up. I will never forget her words, "now all my kids are home". I was so thankful to be home.

That Sunday, the worship team and our pastor came over. I was watching Pam while we sang. I had tears streaming down my face as I watched... She could barely move, but there she lay in her bed, her toes tapping as she sang, her hand raised as high as she could get it. When we got done singing and everyone had left I snuggled up to her and told her I saw her dancing away. Her response? "Oh Meredith, I can't wait to get to Heaven. Then I'll be able to sing and dance again!" She loved to sing. She had a beautiful voice. She was an angel here on earth.

I got a phone call around 6:00 the following Thursday morning. It was Cory. Pam had gone to be with Jesus. I have no idea how, but somehow, I was able to fall back asleep. I had a dream that I was walking into Cory's house. The hospice bed was gone and the room looked "normal" again. I remember being utterly confused and as I looked down the hallway, Pam was walking toward me. She told me she was all better. She told me she was healed. I woke up instantly and knew that God had given me that dream. He had blessed me with such a precious gift of one last glimpse of Pam. Reminding me that she was perfect and healed and no longer in pain.

What was so amazing was that Pam had prepared so much before she died. For years, we would receive letters or gifts. All from her. Each one is so treasured. After her memorial service Cory and his family received letters from Pam. I felt so blessed to receive one too...

Dear Mere,

I love you and I am so happy that my boy has found such a wonderful girl in you. I am thankful that you love the Lord and that your commitment to Him is strong. And I have prayed for you for many many years for God to bring a Godly woman into my son's life and I am so thankful that you are the one He has brought.

I know His plan is perfect and that He picked you especially for Cory. I just pray for the days ahead, Cory has a lot of hard things to deal with and I am so thankful that you will be there to go through those hard times with him. Remind him of all our happy times and keep those for me because it really will help him get through. I am so thankful that you and I have had such a wonderful loving relationship and that we can look back with no regrets and say we had a great time with his growing up. I have to chuckle when I look at you and see how like me you are. I know they say boys marry girls that remind them of their mother and I just look at you; the grin, your laugh, your smile, your fun personality, and I can't help but see some of the same traits that I have. You love to be around people and you love good music, you love theatre and old movies, and we love life and we love my son.

Take care of him, Mere. He's gonna have some days where he's not gonna be very easy to get along with. Days like my birthday, Mother's Day. I know it will be really hard for him. So I just ask you to be there. I am so thankful that you, too, have a Godly mom that you will be able to lean on and that she will be a great comfort to him, too. Your mom has been such a good friend to me and I am so thankful that she will be around to help with all the future plans you two have. I just wanted you to know how much I love you and how thankful I am God brought you into our lives. Take care of my boy. Keep your relationship pure, honey. And keep looking to God. Thank you for being a girl who is willing to be different and stand up against the crowd of kids who think nothing of sleeping together. But you and Cory have made a better choice and I thank you. I know it is not always easy, I've been there and I am just so thankful that Scott and I were able to go into our marriage pure. And I pray that you two will be able to fight off temptation and enter your life together pure and giving each other totally to the other. I just wanted you to know how much I loved you and how thankful I am for you.

Love,
Pam

I had never prayed so hard in my life as I had prayed for Pam. Knowing that God could heal her. Knowing. I prayed. And prayed. And prayed. When Pam died, I was devastated. I simply did not understand. How in the world could there be so many rotten people in the world and God took her? How in the world? She was loving. Kind. She loved Jesus with all her heart. Why did he take her?

I went back to school angry. Very very angry. I started to make choices that were very much NOT me. I started drinking. And drinking. And drinking a little more. I cried. I was angry. It was awful.

When I got home that summer, God must have held a mirror up to my face. All of a sudden I saw myself. I saw the choices I'd been making. I did not even recognize myself. I decided then and there that I needed to make better choices. I needed to turn back to God...

Sometimes

Sometimes I really don't enjoy my job. Sometimes I wish my babies would just stay babies. Really. Sometimes I wish I could keep my babies in a bubble. That I could protect them from making bad choices. That I could protect them from fights with friends. That I could just scoop them up in my arms and keep them safe. Safe from pain. Safe from things they should not have to see. Safe from words they should not have to hear. Safe. Really. Sometimes I think that homeschooling is very appealing. That I could completely provide a safe bubble. Sometimes. Then reality hits... someday, that bubble would pop. I know I can't always keep them safe the way I would choose. I know that. I do. But sometimes. Sometimes. I just wish that I could.

It's been quite a day. A day filled with issues. A day dealing with bad choices. A day dealing with consequences. I thought that was hard enough. Then more came my way. My 7 year old. Crying. His friend had hurt his feelings. The Mother Bear in me wanted to scoop him up. Protect. Tell him it was okay. I would take care of it. But instead, there I sat. Searching my brain for the right things to say. Searching my brain for the right way to guide him.

I'm exhausted. I would like to curl up in a ball. I would like to shut everything off. I'm done. I'm hormonal... don't the kids understand they can't behave this way this time of the month?? Really?? Don't we get a pass this time of the month? A free ride? Nope. They don't understand. They don't play by those rules. Instead, here I sit. Typing my frustrations. Praying that I can soak every ounce of sweetness out of them for the rest of the night. Praying that with the sun that's to shine tomorrow, that we'll have a better day too. Praying for God to carry me. Because really, I don't have it in me.

Wait... Part 2

I was just about to open the door. Then, I heard the words I wanted to hear... "Wait". We talked about what in the world was going on. We both had feelings for each other. Cory asked if I would be his girlfriend. I said yes. We kissed. I was ecstatic!

I went into the house and was glowing. My mom could tell that something was going on. She asked and I told her what had happened. To this day, our stories differ as to what was really said. But, the point remains the same. I was absolutely head over heals for this boy!

To hear Cory's sister talk about how we were when we first started dating is a bit hilarious. We were like white on rice. Stuck together. Always. Cory was so sweet. He was so romantic and on our 1 month anniversary, he surprised me with 1 red rose. On our 2 month, 2 roses. Three months, 3 roses... This continued for the entire year.

In February we went to our first dance together and that very next week, I came down with mono. My mom was scheduled to go out of town and even though we had not really been dating that long, Cory's mom, Pam, just could not bear to have me home with without a mom. She invited me to come stay at their house until my mom came back into town. She kicked Cory out of his bed and took such good care of me. She helped me walk to the bathroom. She made me chicken noodle soup. She even talked to me about sex. Yep. There I was, incredibly sick, laying on the couch and somehow the topic came up. She wasn't pushy. It wasn't weird. It just was. To this day, I love that we had that conversation. I love that she loved her son so much and wanted the absolute best for him. I love that she talked to me about the importance of waiting. I love that it wasn't awkward in the least. I just loved her!

The rest of the school year is such a blur. All wrapped up in Cory. We had so much fun together. He was constantly making me laugh. He was so good to me. I was falling in love.

I love that God's hand was so clearly evident in our relationship. We went from best friends to falling in love. Our eyes changed and we saw each other in such a different light. I know that God orchestrated all of that. What I love too, is that, without God, we would NEVER have made it through the next year...

We fought like crazy our senior year. Seriously. It was absolutely ridiculous. His mom called us professional arguers. My mom would always take Cory's side and he said his mom always took mine. I'm truly amazed that through ALL those fights we never broke up. Even through the fighting, though, we still had so much fun together.

We were incredibly blessed to have an amazing group of friends. Friends who had the same values. Friends who had no interest in partying. Friends who were content to hang out on Friday and Saturday nights at Cory's house. Singing karaoke. Watching Saturday Night Live. Laughing our heads off.

In April of our senior year, Cory, his cousin Chris and our friend Ryan surprised me and our friends Nicci and Lindsay with a fun night out. The guys had rented a limo and on our way out of town, they stopped to pick up Chinese food. We had no idea where we were going. No idea what to expect. A while later we pulled up to Multinomah Falls and had a picnic by the falls in the pouring down rain. The mood was not dampened and we had such a good time. After dinner, each of the couples took off on their own to walk around. As Cory and I were walking, he pointed out a rose that was on the ground in front of us. As we continued to walk there were more and more roses... leading us all the way back to the limo. When he opened the door, there was a huge bouquet of roses and a poem...

Roses are red, violets are blue
I want you to know I'll always be true.

Such a beautiful girl, what am I to do
My life's been wonderful since I met you.

Roses are long, and their stems are green
When I met you, you became my queen.

Our love is a fairytale, I'll never be blue
Just like the Old Lady who lived in a shoe.

I know it is late for Prom number two
But you knew all along, my date would be you.

When we go to Prom, they'll all turn to see
The beautiful lady that's there with me.

I know Calvin asked you, that I can see
But I'll dump Margret, If you'll go with me.

If you don't say YES, I'll go with my mom
So Meredith PLEASE,

CAN I TAKE YOU TO PROM?

Prom was fantastic and was followed by a moonlight dessert picnic along the river. The next morning, Cory picked me up bright and early and we headed back to Multinomah falls to hike to the top and have a picnic. Years later, Cory would admit that all his romantic gestures were not all of his own doing. He had a great friend who helped him through (thanks Ryan!). I don't mind that they weren't all his own ideas, I just loved that he cared so much and wanted to make so many moments so special.

The end of our senior year was quickly approaching. We had senior parties. Graduation. Graduation parties. And a trip with all our fantastic friends to Sun River. Life was great and I was so excited that we were both going to be going to Northern Arizona University in the fall...

My Story - Part 1

I said I would post this on my birthday. Obviously, I didn't. I've thought about it a lot. What do I post? Where do I start? There seem to be so many different stories in my life... how do I get it all out there? I decided I'd just start at the beginning...

I was born in southern California in 1977. Born on Good Friday. Born 6 weeks early. Weighing in at 6 lbs. I was the baby in the family. Joining a 2 year old brother and 4 year old sister.

I loved my childhood. We lived in a great neighborhood. We were close to the beach. I loved playing with my friends. If I just take a quick glance, there was very little about my life that was not good.

We rode our bikes to school. We spent all day at the beach. We had an awesome park nearby. We went to Disneyland. We played dress up. We played. Played. And played.

When I was 10, we moved up to the Pacific Northwest. I loved and continue to love it here. I am entirely convinced that we live in THE best place in the United States. I know that some would argue we get too much rain, but without the rain everything would not be as green and beautiful. And besides, I LOVE the sound of the rain.

We moved into a beautiful house on 5 acres. I loved it. There were woods to build forts... and to run away to. There were trails to explore. Hammocks to swing in under the stars. A yard full of trees that would blow in the wind and lull me to sleep. One of my favorite things was laying in my bed at night... window open, rain falling, music to my ears.

I quickly made friends and loved school. Again, very little to complain about. Life was, for the most part, good.

As I got older, I saw how my sister interacted with my parents. I watched her make decisions, saw the consequences and decided VERY early on that I would do the complete opposite. I saw my parents frustrations and so desired for them to trust and respect me.

Middle school was so much fun. I went to a small school. I loved my friends. I loved it all.

Then high school came. For some reason, I was suddenly and painfully self conscious. I remember hating walking in front of the classroom. I felt ugly and awkward. I had many crushes and all the boys I liked never seemed to give me a 2nd glance. I still had great friends, but found myself feeling that if only I were prettier. If only I were skinnier. Life would be perfect. I longed to get asked to a dance. I longed to be beautiful. And in my teenage mind, since I wasn't asked, I wasn't beautiful.

At the end of my freshman year, my good friend and I tried out for cheerleading. We both made the squad and I was so excited. Amazingly, for a girl that was entirely self conscious, I loved just about every second of cheering.

Junior year rolled around and I began dating a boy who was very fun to date. We went to the beach for the day. We hung out with friends. He was the first boy that made me feel beautiful. We'd been dating for a little over a month and all of a sudden, he started paying less attention. I would be so upset by it, but had started making a great friend who I could always count on to cheer me up. He would often spend much of our lunchtime making me laugh. His name was Cory.

The week after homecoming, my boyfriend quit talking to me. Apparently, this was his way of "breaking up". I was devastated and asked Cory if knew of any good boys he could introduce me to. He instantly said, "yes" and told me to come to church with him that Wednesday so I could meet his friend.

Up until this point in my life, I had always gone to church with my family. However, I had NO idea that I could have a personal relationship with Christ. I had NO idea that there was any other way to pray other than by saying the Lord's prayer and any other recited prayer we had said in church. I had NO clue. What was so fantastic was that I not only went to church and got to meet a boy, but I also met God that night. Truly met him.

I went to church with Cory the following Wednesday and he introduced me to his good friend. We quickly started dating and he quickly was grounded for skipping school. Therefore, we really didn't spend much time dating. About a month after we started dating, he broke up with me because he still had feelings for an old girlfriend. I wasn't so upset that HE broke up with me, but I was very upset that he BROKE UP with me. Here I was, getting broken up with for the 2nd time in just a few months. I was so upset! Cory was so sweet. He just sat there and hugged me while I cried.

Cory was one of my best friends. He made me laugh. He made me smile. He was like my brother. I was not attracted to him in the least and found it hilarious when people would ask if I liked him...

The Sunday after my boyfriend broke up with me I called Cory to let him know that I wouldn't be able to make it to church that night. My car had broken down like it often did. He offered to come pick me up but I felt like it was ridiculous. He lived 20 minutes away and I lived another 20 minutes from the church. It seemed too much of a bother, but he didn't mind at all.

That night, after hanging out with our friends, Cory drove me home. I tried to give him gas money and as we passed the money back and forth, somehow, we started holding hands. He told me that he would keep the money if he could take me to lunch the next day. I agreed and thought it was so wrong of me to be holding my best friends hand...

I was working at Nordstrom during Christmas break and Cory met me there the next day to take me to lunch. As we walked to the food court, he put his arm around me just like he had done before, suddenly, I had butterflies. My stomach started going crazy and all of a sudden, Cory was no longer "just like a brother". He was cute. He was sweet. I was confused!

The next night we were going to go to the zoo lights with all of our friends. My car was still not working and so Cory picked me up from work. As we drove back to his house, we started holding hands. I sat there utterly confused. Knowing that you just don't hold your best friends hand. Knowing that this was not okay. What in the world were we doing???

We went to the zoo that night. Holding hands secretly while on the train. Holding hands in the car. Holding hands at his house. All while hiding this (or so we thought) from our friends. As we were driving home that night, I sat there thinking. Still confused. I decided right there in my sixteen year old mind that if when we got to my house he did not stop me before we got out of the car that we were done holding hands. Done. However, IF he were to stop me, we would talk about this crazy hand holding and figure out what in the world was going on. My heart was racing as we pulled up to my house. As I went to open the door, he said, "wait"...