Sometimes I really don't enjoy my job. Sometimes I wish my babies would just stay babies. Really. Sometimes I wish I could keep my babies in a bubble. That I could protect them from making bad choices. That I could protect them from fights with friends. That I could just scoop them up in my arms and keep them safe. Safe from pain. Safe from things they should not have to see. Safe from words they should not have to hear. Safe. Really. Sometimes I think that homeschooling is very appealing. That I could completely provide a safe bubble. Sometimes. Then reality hits... someday, that bubble would pop. I know I can't always keep them safe the way I would choose. I know that. I do. But sometimes. Sometimes. I just wish that I could.
It's been quite a day. A day filled with issues. A day dealing with bad choices. A day dealing with consequences. I thought that was hard enough. Then more came my way. My 7 year old. Crying. His friend had hurt his feelings. The Mother Bear in me wanted to scoop him up. Protect. Tell him it was okay. I would take care of it. But instead, there I sat. Searching my brain for the right things to say. Searching my brain for the right way to guide him.
I'm exhausted. I would like to curl up in a ball. I would like to shut everything off. I'm done. I'm hormonal... don't the kids understand they can't behave this way this time of the month?? Really?? Don't we get a pass this time of the month? A free ride? Nope. They don't understand. They don't play by those rules. Instead, here I sit. Typing my frustrations. Praying that I can soak every ounce of sweetness out of them for the rest of the night. Praying that with the sun that's to shine tomorrow, that we'll have a better day too. Praying for God to carry me. Because really, I don't have it in me.
10 comments:
Oh Meredith! Every mother out there hears you loud and clear! We all want to protect them so much. And the searching for the right words.....that part scares me so much. Knowing that you can't take back words, that they always stick...somewhere....back in their brains. Keep praying. Keep going. Keep hugging. Tomorrow is a new day.
When can you do coffee? :-)
Oh boy do I have those days! I'll be praying for God to lift you up and carry you through!
God Bless!
~Sassy
will pray for you tonight, Mer. Hang in there...If you find a temp way out let me know as I may want to join you...been one of those days around here too...here's a cyberspace hug just for you!
sorry to hear that! i'll be praying for you. when i was teaching, it seemed like the kids were always rotten during my hormonal or stressful weeks. i think that some special kid-radar and can detect when we are at the end of our ropes!
oh mere...you sweet thing! praying for you girlie.
I think this is going around. I know what you mean especially the protecting part and having to put Mama Bear away. On these days make sure you're asking for help because God even gave Moses people who would help him carry the burden.
I'm soooo sorry you're having a tough day. I can so relate.
When we homeschooled Crystal, we still had the same friend issues.
I'm praying for you. Get outside and soak in the sunshine and get some yummy, natural vitamin D!
I still need to read your testimony. I haven't had a chance yet.
oh, hope today was better for you! since friend, school, 'big kid' issues are right around the corner...i've been thinking, praying and trying not to worry about that lately. Sending Connor to public school next year is also a leap of faith for me. Not sure I'm ready for all the emotional parts of parenting from here on out. Praying for you!
something kainu once said was that he hoped as his kids experience "real life", real hurts, real dissappointments, real pain, real bad choices...they still all happened within his "bubble" when they are home, so he could walk with them as they experienced it. Then someday, when they're out on thier own, they'll remember the foundation, the ways you taught them when you journeyed with them as kids. We can't protect them from the world, but teach them how to handle it.
Love you, you are a GREAT mom!! Each one is so blessed to have you loving them through life.
How did I miss this post before? Sorry I'm just now reading it.
Praying that things are better now. I know what you mean about wanting to live in a bubble sometimes. We always want to protect our children, but sooner or later they have to face challenges themselves. I just wish it was a lot LATER!
Praying for God to hold you close, whispering sweet words of encouragement to you.
Blessings,
Beth
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