Glimpses

I'm so thankful for glimpses. Moments where we get to see God. Moments where we are reminded that God is here. He cares. He loves us. Moments that we can say without a doubt that we are so glad that things did not turn out the way we wanted them to. I'm so thankful that I've had lots of glimpses throughout the years. These moments comfort me and give me so much peace. I've had several moments lately where I just sit back and smile at the wonder of God.

When my brother was diagnosed with cancer I felt my body go empty. I was a shell. I had nothing to give. I felt nothing but sorrow. Emptiness. Zero compassion. For a girl who has always had such a heart for others and had always had so much hope, I felt nothing. I had no idea how I would ever get "me" back. The amazing thing. I didn't have to do anything but pray. It was not in my power. I could not fix myself. Thankfully, so many wonderful friends were praying and I woke up one morning and knew that God had filled me. I no longer felt empty. I was hopeful. I was me. There is no other explanation. God took my pain. God loves me.

We've been trying to sell our house. When we listed it, our parents also listed their house in Spokane. We were praying that our houses would sell quickly and we could buy some property together and be neighbors. Our kids would have their grandparents right there. We would have the support we so desire. It was a perfect plan. How could God not bless us with this? It was perfect! I'm so thankful our prayers were not answered. I hold this so dear. If our prayers had been answered my parents would be here. Not in Spokane. Not close to my brother and his wonderful family. Not able to go to all the Dr.'s appointments with my brother. Not able to go visit with my brother during his treatments. They would be here. Six hours from my brother. What a wonderful glimpse.

The thing is, we don't know what our entire book looks like. Only God knows. He knows what is best for us. We have no clue. We might think we know and thankfully God gives us these moments where we get to see that He truly wants to give us His best.

Thank you God for reminding us of your presence and everlasting love. Thank you for showing us your mercy and for tolerating our fits. Thank you for wanting to wrestle with us. Thank you for wrapping us up in your arms. Thank you for carrying us when we can no longer stand. Thank you for giving us joy. I love you Lord.

Spokane

The kids and I spent 5 days in Spokane and Coeur d' Alene last week. Five wonderful days that I did not want to end. We stayed with my Mom and she was gracious enough to allow myself and our 5 kids to completely trash her house while we played and had fun and had no responsibility. I realized that I don't just "play" at home because it always seems there are so many other things that need to get done. We spent 2 days at the lake in Hayden, ID and I thought, "why don't we do this at home?" Oh, because at home, I have a house that needs cleaning, laundry that needs washing and groceries that need to be bought. My prayer for this year is that God would show me more ways to play with my kids. That that would become more of a priority that cleaning. After all, will the house get anything out of me cleaning it? Will it grow up to know that it was loved and cherished? Will my house be able to learn about Christ by me spending so much time with it? Nope. My house will only have cleanliness to show for itself and where will my kids be in all of this. So, as I look at these pictures of our fun in Spokane I get all sappy and want to make sure that I'm allowing God to show me moments of "play"... I'm sure this year will be full of opportunity.

We decided that even though Jackson is technically old enough to start school that we will start him a year later since he just turned 5. We also decided to not have him do another year of preschool. So, the only other option. Teaching him at home. Notice I didn't say "homeschool"? As I explained before, that's because I just don't have enough fingers and toes to do that kind of math. Okay, maybe that's not it, but I figure I'm only keeping up on what he already knows not actually teaching much as he's already had 2 years of pre-k. So, it's not homeschool.

I also have a bit of advice for those of you interested in going to the Learning Palace store. Never go there with 3 tired and hungry kids. It's just not a good idea. Your 2 year old will want to pull everything off the shelves. Your 3 year old will think that's fun too. And your 5 year old will want to buy all the toys because they might just help him learn something. By the time you leave, the person working at the store might suggest that you come back next time when someone can watch your kids. Not that I would know any of this from experience. I'm just saying. Needless to say, the kids were all excited as we got into the car and headed home for lunch with the "homeschool" supplies in hand!

First Day of School and Party Fun

I laid in bed last night dreading this morning. Dreading 6:30 am. Dreading homework. Dreading school. I love the summer. I love having my kids home. Of course, call me around lunchtime and I'm ready to run away. But for the most part, I love summer. I love lazy mornings. I love letting the kids stay up a little later. I hate homework. Seriously, wasn't I done with homework when I graduated from college? Haven't I done enough homework? And yet, I know, that my sweet 7th grader will come home with 7th grade math and I will be sitting there scratching my head and really wishing that my sweet husband were home because I was not made with enough fingers and toes to do this kind of math. But, here we are the first day of school. Truly as I rolled out of bed I liked 6:30. The kids caught the bus at 7:25 and by 7:45 all the kids were fed and I was sitting down to drink my morning cup of coffee. For a girl that hates being late all the time and always feels 10 steps behind, I truly enjoyed feeling efficient for once in my life. I'm sure that by 3:00 I will be crashing fast and crabby as all can be, but right now, I'm loving 6:30. Before the kids left for the bus stop I took their 1st day of school pictures. I love their expressions. Caden was too cool for school. Not wanting to look excited as someone was walking by the house when I took his picture. I felt like such an old mom as I said, "cut it out, I'm not embarrassing you!" Apparently I was. Cole on the other hand, was giddy all morning. He was loving and hugging on us and was so excited for his 1st day. His smile says it all. I love my boys! And even though, Jack is not going to have a "1st day of school" this year, he still wanted his picture taken as well... love you too Jack!

On to birthday fun, we had the family party last night and when I asked Jack what he wanted for dinner he said, "pancakes!". "Are you sure? We had those for breakfast?" "YEP! I want pancakes." So, we had pancakes for both breakfast and dinner. Who doesn't love pancakes? He was so excited to get a new bike so that his knees will no longer hit his chin when he rides and was even more excited to get some slip on shoes. This boy loves slip on shoes so I was so excited when I found some "vans" type slip ons. His grin was the biggest when he opened these shoes!

Apparently, he wasn't having fun!!

Happy Birthday Jackson!!!

5 years ago at this time, I had just pushed out my sweet and chubby little man. Jackson was 9 lbs. 3 oz. and until then, I didn't know that babies could be born chubby. His labor was fast and furious and he came out literally right after they were done giving me an epidural. He was not going to wait for it to kick-in and out he came. We called him Action Jackson from the start and amazingly he has lived up to that name to the full!

Jackson is full of energy and smiles. When we go on walks, he can run the whole time and not be tired. He has the most infectious smiles and we find that it's sometimes hard to discipline him when we can't hold back the laughter.

Jackson melts my heart. He has always had a twinkle in his eye... some say he's got the "dickens" in him. I say he's a charmer. He loves to give big hugs and a kind word of encouragement is all it takes to make this boy glow.

I cannot believe that my sweet baby boy is 5. I cannot believe how quickly he has gone from such a baby to such a smart, sweet and tenacious boy. He is our second born and he has learned to be assertive. He has learned how to get the spotlight... even if it's not always the good one! He keeps us on our toes.

My favorite thing to do is go in and kiss the kids right before we go to bed. As I watch them sleep in their beds the Lord is gracious enough to let all the good parts of the day go flashing through my head. I want to curl up with them and snuggle them and never let go because I know that this time will pass. Someday soon they will be big towering teenagers and they won't smell the same, from what I hear they won't act like anyone we've ever known, and they probably won't want my snuggles. So, for now, I savor these moments. I savor the moments that I can remember the good of the day and not the frustrations.

I am so thankful for Jackson. He is my sunshine. He can tell when I need a good hug... he must take after his mom. He is the best hugger! Thank you Lord for blessing me and our family with this boy. Thank you for every bit of him...

Happy Happy Birthday My Sweet Boy!!!

Everyone's Hero

My brother is an amazing man... actually, to say he's amazing doesn't quite cover it. He's my older brother and he has always seemed to do just what an older brother should do... not what they should not.

In the 7th grade he taught me to hit "like a boy". This lesson came along with a "take it like a man" lesson as well where he taught me to laugh instead of cry if the punches in the arm hurt. These skills came in handy on long bus rides as we played the game in the back of the bus to see who could go the longest getting hit in the leg. I know, I know, I probably shouldn't have been taught to "take it like a man" I am a girl afterall, but it sure was fun to outlast the boys!

In high school, he always watched over me and made sure that the boys I liked were boys that should be liked. I honestly do not remember ever fighting with him. He was and has always been one of my best friends. I pray that my children will be as close to each other as my brother is to me. My husband loves him, my children adore him... could I ask for more? Watching him with his family makes me smile. He is such a wonderful husband and father.

My brother was recently diagnosed with stage 3 stomach cancer. When he found out he had cancer he told me that this was their chance... Their chance to shine as a light and show the world who God is. He is determined to fight this and even though the chemo is already taking it's toll, he continues to still get out and "smell the roses". He was feeling pretty bad Saturday morning but after a good nap, he joined us at the lake and was sure that all who were there were taken down. None were left dry.

One of my favorite things is my brother's hugs. For those that know me, they know I'm a hugger. I love to hug. It's my way of saying "I love you". "I care about you". My brother gives the best hugs. He is tall and his shoulders are broad and when he hugs me I feel like a little girl again wrapped in her brother's protective arms.

My kids love the movie "Everyone's Hero". The message in the movie is to "just keep swinging"... to never give up. My brother is my hero. He continues to stay positive and "just keeps swinging". I am so proud of him and so very very thankful that God chose him to be my brother.

While we were visiting this last weekend my brother had a head shaving party. He wanted to shave his head before the chemo made his hair fall out. A few of his close friends came over and almost all the boys there got their heads shaved. I must say that they all looked pretty good too!! Jackson wanted Daddy to cut his hair so when we got home yesterday Cory went ahead and cut Jackson and Brenton's hair too. All the boys in my family are now bald and as handsome as ever. They all wanted to show their love for uncle Chris.

WE LOVE YOU UNCLE CHRIS!!!

Family Camp 2008

Cory and I

Justin and Andrea

The guys making breakfast

Ella, Alex, Jackson, Ryan and Caden

Tyler, Cole and Alex

Caden, Ella and Alex playing in the "sand" at the campsite

Ella's "sand"... she was convinced she could make a sandcastle with this!

Strike a pose

Tyler

What's that monkey doing in the tree?

At the lake

Cole trying to get Justin, amazingly he failed everytime...


Alex and Ella..."will you marry me?"
Alex has such a twinkle in his eye when he looks at Ella. We're sure they'll marry someday!

Doesn't Brenton look happy?

The guys having some boat time

Hope you're enjoying your smore my sweet boy!

We had our first camping adventure as a family this last weekend. When we arrived it was around 100 degrees and I thought we were all going to melt that night as the 7 of us tried to sleep in our tent. Thankfully, we did not melt and Saturday morning my friend, Andrea and I, walked our coffee pot over to a site with electricity and made our morning pot of coffee... you might have a problem if you can't go a weekend without coffee! We had so much fun watching the kids play in the "sand", aka dirt, at the campsite, playing at the lake and having fun talks around the campfire. The final pictures are of Caden on our last night, he so badly wanted to make smores and we ran out of time after the nights activities. He fell asleep in his chair, but before falling completely asleep, he opened his eyes and said, "I want a smore." His eyes then rolled back into his head and he was out. I didn't want him to feel like he completely missed out so being the kind mom that I am, I placed a smore on his chest, stuck a marshmallow to his lip and snapped some pictures... On the way home we asked the kids if they'd want to do it again. They all said yes so I guess they had a good time too!