Proms and Princesses

I got a phone call a couple of weeks ago. It was our sitter. Our sweet K. She called to see if I was busy on the 25th. She called to see if I could come over that afternoon. Her parents were going on a cruise that morning and she was going to her 1st prom. I was thrilled! I asked what she needed from me. Her response? Just to be "mom". With a little tear in my eye, I said, "absolutely!"

The phone rang last week and it was K's mom. Asking if we could all go over to their house. The ENTIRE family. Asking, since K considers us her 2nd family and Cory her 2nd dad, would Cory be willing to pray over K and her boyfriend before they go. Would he pray for blessings upon their evening. With another tear in my eye, I said, "absolutely!"

My kids love K. K loves my kids. Everyday last week, Ella asked if it was time to go to K's house yet. She was giddy with excitement.

The big day came and we piled into the car. K looked beautiful. Like a princess. Ella just stood there and stared. We took the pictures and I even had to help with the boutonniere (I'm pretty sure that was the 1st one I ever put on. I think my mom always did it for me!) And as we hugged goodbye and watched them walk away, I couldn't help but get a little tear in my eye for our girl. As much as she considers us her 2nd family, I consider her my other daughter.

As we were driving home the song "Beautifully Broken" came on. Ella started asking me about the words to the song. As I was trying to explain, she asked, "do they mean beautiful like K was beautiful??" "No sweet girl. But yes, she sure was beautiful, wasn't she?"

I'm so thankful for such a wonderful young women that loves our kids so much. Thankful for the good influence she is for my daughter. Thankful to have been a part of such a special night.
____________________________________________________________________

As I was putting Ella to bed last night she was telling me all about her favorite princesses. When she said she did not like Snow White, I asked her why...

"She and the prince don't dance!! They don't even get married!!! All he does is take her to the land of the castle at the end!!!! Cinderella dances. Sleeping Beauty dances. Belle dances. Ariel dances..."

"But, you like Pocahontas and she and John Smith don't get married or dance."

"Yeah, but I like to dance to the music at the end of the movie."

I Lied

It started last year. It started with a house. Cory took me to see a house. He showed me where the fences would go. He showed me where the barn would be. He showed me where my parents could live. It all sounded perfect...

The house that would be perfect? It sold days after we put ours on the market.

Then there was the house on the hill. It too, was perfect. It was older. It had red shag carpet. It hadn't had any updates since the 70's, I'm sure. But, it was perfect. Cory showed me where the fences would be. He showed me where the barn would be. He showed me where my parents could live. It was perfect...

We went to that house one day. We didn't feel we were asking for anything crazy. It's not like it was a huge beautiful house on the hill. It was old. It was rundown. It had room for our kids to run and play. It had room for chickens and alpacas and goats. We sat in the yard, faces to the ground, praying...

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7

On our way down the driveway, we stopped the car and grabbed a couple of beautiful leaves off one of the trees. I still have that leaf in my bible. It marks Matthew 7:7.

Then my brother got sick. My parents took their house off the market. They would not be moving back. We would not live right next door to each other. I was okay. God's hand was so evident. I was beyond thankful that our "perfect" plan had not worked out.

Our house has stayed on the market. We've had very few showings since September. It's priced too high. We have no need to give it away. We have always known that God could sell it no matter what. We've still held on to our dream...

It didn't used to be my dream. At all. I lived in a neighborhood until I was 10. I loved all that it had to offer. I was fine living in a neighborhood for the rest of my life. Cory was not. He grew up on property. Our first house was the first house that he lived in that was in a neighborhood. He's been itching to get out ever since. I wasn't interested in property. Or farm life. Really.

Then my heart changed.

I saw it all last summer. Saw my kids running down the driveway. Covered in dirt. Wearing their boots. Smiling from ear to ear. I saw us working hard. And loving it. I saw Ella collecting eggs. The boys scooping poop. Swinging in tire swings. I started to dream last summer. My desire for my family started to change. I wanted out of our neighborhood.

We had no desire for a fancy house. Quite the opposite really. We'd take whatever we could get as long as it could fit us all and it was on property. I'd take red carpet and wood panelled walls. I truly did not care.

But nothing was happening with our house.

There's been a house on the market for almost a year now. Last summer it was WAY out of our price range. It's now on the high end. We drove by last Friday. Cory showed me where the fence would be. We walked among the apple trees. I smelled the Daphne. We fell in love. Our children fell in love. We had a new plan.

We would refinance. We would rent our house. We would buy our dream.

Cory prayed that if this was not God's will for us, that He would slam the doors shut.

I told myself that I was okay with this. I told Cory I was okay with this. That I was content with whatever happened. That if we needed to live in this house for a few more years that I would be great with it. I would love to live in the old farm house, but I was just fine living here too.

I lied.

I didn't know it. But, I lied.

Cory made some calls yesterday. Took our house off the market and called the mortgage company. When the phone rang he said,

"I've got bad news and even badder news. We can't refinance for 3 months because our house has been on the market, and we have to have proof of renting our house out for 12 months."

"So, is this God slamming the door shut??"

Apparently.

And apparently I was lying.

I'm crushed.

It's just funny to me. I had no desire for any of this. I loved our house. I loved our neighborhood. I would be fine if I never lived on acreage. Then my heart changed. And now I sit here. With dreams for my family that can go nowhere right now. Knowing that we aren't going anywhere for awhile.

I'm crushed.

The blessing? I do know without a shadow of a doubt that God knows where we will be. He knows our desire. And if He wills it, it will happen. He knows what is best for us. He knows exactly where we should be. And apparently, this house and this neighborhood is where he has us for now. So, I'm going to hold tight to that. I'll hold on to the fact that he knows best.

Then I'll take one last look...

Cole's Story

On December 4, 1995, my sister gave birth to her 1st and only child. A boy. Sweet Cole Christopher. As soon as I held him in my arms, I fell in love.

Years went by. We saw Cole less and less. He had grown into a preteen. We had 4 children of our own. We still loved him dearly, but the bond wasn't as strong.

In August 2007 we found out that my sister had asked my parents to take care of Cole for a year. She felt she needed some time to try and pull herself together. She needed a break.

I remember the day Cory came to me. He said he felt like we should offer to have Cole come to live with us. Indefinitely. I heard nothing else he had to say. I was beyond irritated. We already had 4 kids. I was barely keeping it together as it was. How in the world could he even ask to take on another child??

I remember the day God came to me. I was cleaning the kids bathroom. I was washing the mirror. Instantly, EVERY. SINGLE. REASON. popped into my head of WHY we should have him with us. I searched my head and there were NO negatives. All I could find in there were the positives. We would be able to offer him stability that he had never had. We would be able to show him what a healthy family looks like. He would have Cory to teach him how to be a good man, father and husband. He would have siblings. He would be able to keep his grandparents as grandparents. We would be able to teach him about God. His love. And His best for us.

What I didn't find out until months later was that Cory had started praying as soon as I had told him "no". He prayed that if this was truly God's will for Cole that He would change my heart. He knew that he would not bring it up again. He would respect my feelings. He did exactly as He should. He took it to God and God was AMAZINGLY faithful.

We packed up the car and made the long trek across the state. Praying the entire time. Praying that if this was God's will that all would be in support of our plan. As soon as the words came out of our mouths, my sister started crying. She had always wanted a family for Cole. She told us that what we were offering was what she had always prayed for and never knew how to ask. When we told Cole, he gave us 2 thumbs up and a big ole' grin. Cole joined our family days after we got home from our trip.

Cole has fit right into our "little" family. We love him. The kids love him. Brenton adores him.

In December, Cory and I were both feeling like we should adopt Cole. I was talking to my friend one morning. Talking about how in the world we would be able to do that. Talking about how my sister would feel. Then the other line beeped in. It was my sister...

She wanted us to adopt Cole.

My jaw hit the floor. I could not believe that God had just answered that question right then and there. And although we were both feeling like God was absolutely leading us in that direction, we agreed to pray about it until we had a clear answer from God.

December came and I posted this and this. By December 31st we both felt like we didn't necessarily have a clear answer, but we had an overwhelming peace about the whole thing. We decided that we would adopt Cole.

The next day, my sister made some decisions that landed her in the hospital. We now, quite literally, had our writing on the wall. There was no question. God went ahead, answered our call, and then, as if to say, "just so you REALLY understand, here you go."

We took Cole out to dinner one night to talk to him about adoption. As we sat talking, I could barely get the words out of my mouth before he was smiling and saying "yes". He glowed from across the table. For days he was stuck to us. Snuggling. Talking. It was as if a wall had just been shattered. He knew we wanted him. He knew he was here to stay. He was an entirely different child.

Yesterday, our family grew. Permanently. Yesterday, Cole became our son. He was so excited. We were so excited. I want to shout it from the rooftops! God has so clearly walked with us through this part of our journey. He has guided us. He has been faithful.

Both Cole and Caden said that yesterday was the best day ever. We wanted to make it special. A celebration. After the hearing, we headed to ice cream and then on to the fantastic park downtown. It was a gorgeous day. We sat, eating ice cream, enjoying family. We then drove by our dream house. No one is living there and we wanted to take a closer look. The owner was doing some work on the property and told us we could walk around. He even showed us the inside. We love it. Our kids love it. There's even a tire swing under a great big tree right outside the kitchen window. Our kids offered the owner a dollar and asked if we could buy his house... sweet kids, if only that was enough! We then headed to one of Cole's favorite restaurants, had some delicious dinner and headed home to go to bed. It was absolutely perfect!

Our promise when Cole came to live with us was that we would always make our decisions regarding him by taking them to God. That we would pray that our decisions would be God's best for Cole. Our sweet boy has been through so much and we so desire God's absolute best for him.

Thank you Lord for guiding us. Thank you for loving Cole so very very much. Thank you for protecting him all these years. Thank you for bringing him into our home. Thank you for blessing our family with another son. Thank you!

Of Course They Did

Of course, Jackson and Ella were giggling in the back seat of the car today...

Of course, I heard one say, "look, they're naked booty!"

Of course, they did...

Of course, I heard more giggles...

"Why aren't they wearing any clothes, Mom??"

"Because that's Adam and Eve and they had not sinned yet."

Of course, that let to a great talk about Adam and Eve and sinning...

And, of course, that dirty little rascal... Satan.

Of course, they STILL didn't understand why it was okay that they were naked...

How, oh how, do I explain THAT in toddler terms??

A Purpose

I spent this last weekend at our church's women's retreat. I spent the weekend hearing my laugh. Rocking the rock wall. Flying down the zip line. Hearing others' stories. Getting to know some amazing women. Talking with my God. Hearing from my God.

Lies were brought up once again. I hate lies. I hate Satan. I hate him. I've posted about lies before. I even posted about my lie. The one that I believe. Unfortunately, it has continued to fester. The enemy has continued to poke and to prod. He has thrown more lies my way. And I have believed...

I am dumb...

I am a selfish friend...

I talk too much...

I listen too little...

I have no gifts, God skipped me on that one...

I am worthless...

These lies have caused me to disregard anyone's comments. When someone would say something encouraging to me I would honestly think to myself, "that's okay. There's no need to lie. I know the truth." I'm not kidding. I would think, "that's sweet, but unnecessary. I know the truth."

I received the nicest words in my birthday cards, I sat and wondered... were my friends words true, or were they just being nice... I loved hearing the words, but I truly did not believe a bit of them.

As I sat praying on Saturday night, I prayed not only for healing for all the women I had spoken to that day, but I also prayed that God would show me my purpose. That God would reveal the gifts He had given me. He was, as He always is, faithful.

My friends did not know I had prayed this prayer. As we sat talking, I did reveal my lie. Only, as much as I knew it was my lie, I believed it too. One friend said, "I know what your spiritual gift is. It's encouragement." To which the other friend wholeheartedly agreed. One friend looked at me with skepticism. She wondered if I would accept these words as truth or if I would instead shrug them off. I told her of my prayer. I knew my friends words were from God. My friend added that she believed that I also have the gift of discernment. She had seen it. I sat in awe at how quickly God replied.

The next morning while sitting at small group, one of the women was saying how she loved that our group was inter generational. She looked at me and said that she enjoyed hearing someone younger than her have such wisdom. I started crying. I looked away. I thank the Lord.

It feels odd to even share this. And as I do I can hear the enemy's whispers. He is trying to dispel God's truth. He is trying to tell me that no one will believe that I have these gifts. That they will roll their eyes. That I really am not what God has shown me to be. Sorry Satan.

IT IS WRITTEN...

"Oh Lord, You have searched me and known me.
You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.
You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.

Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from your presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, You are there;
If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall lead me.
If I say, "Surely the darkness shall fall on me,"
Even the night shall be light about me;
Indeed, the darkness shall not kide from You;
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.

For you formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother's womb.
I will PRAISE You, for I am FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made;
MARVELOUS are Your works,
And that my soul KNOWS very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret.
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.

How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with you."
Psalms 139:1-17

"He fashions their hearts individually;
He considers all their works."
Psalms 33:15

"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for GOOD works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."
Ephesians 2:10

We're Having A Party

The angels are singing...

We've got an awfully excited and giggly little girl...

She couldn't wait to tell her Daddy...

She has JESUS in her heart!!

She came in asking questions...

She seemed to understand...

What did Jesus come to do?

To save us...

To love us...

To teach us to love others...

We prayed together...

She couldn't stop giggling...

She was glowing...

What a blessing...

The angels are dancing...

They're having a party...

Praise the LORD!!

What Do You Get...

When you combine 3 kids, bubbles and lots of rain???

Bubbles...

And rainbows!!

Wow. God is so stinkin' cool!!

Easter

It was not typical. It was tiring. It was such a blessing.

Cory has been out of town the last 2 weekends. We did great the first weekend, but this last one really wore me out. I so prefer to have my sweets by my side. I so prefer our family being together. Man, I missed my man.

Thankfully, my parents were able to come into town. They arrived Friday afternoon and blessed us by springing for dinner and picking up some pizza. So nice since I'm really not so great at cooking when Cory is gone. The kids love seeing their Papa and Nana!

Friday night, we read the story of Christ death and resurrection. I was pleasantly surprised when I got to the part where Jesus could no longer carry His cross by himself. Caden said excitedly, this is when Simon helps him! I loved that my sweet boy is learning the stories of Jesus!

After we put the little ones to bed we watched The Passion of the Christ. What a movie to watch on Good Friday. It's one thing to read the story in your Bible. It's another thing to watch it played out. Words cannot describe the emotions that I feel when I watch that movie. Awed. Humbled. Thankful. Those words don't really even come close...

Saturday morning, we enjoyed an Easter egg hunt at our church. We all gathered together at the beginning to sing a few songs and here the resurrection story. I admit, I'm a mover during worship. I simply cannot stand still as I worship my God. But, man oh man, looking around on Saturday as everyone stood, many with kids on their hips... It was AWESOME!!! I loved seeing everyone dancing. Praising God. It took my breath away. Funny how just having our kids with us makes us so much more uninhibited.

Before the hunt. Still smiling...

See that little boy pouting?? He didn't want his picture taken...

A close up of the pout...

We were going to head to church on Saturday night. However, when it came down to it, I really had no idea how to fit it all in. We would have been rushing. Stressed. Crabby. The kids were tired. I was worn out. I decided not to push it. We would go Sunday morning instead...

Then Brenton coughed. Lots. And loudly. Snot was dripping. Lots. And lots. In that moment, I flashed forward to Sunday morning. Doing the egg hunt. Getting 5 kids and myself ready for church. Having to hold Brenton on my lap because there was no way I could put him in the nursery. Running. Stressing. Is that really what Easter is about?? Does Jesus really care if we praise Him in our church building. I don't think He does. I decided to have church at home.

We read about Jesus again. We talked about God's sacrifice. We talked about His love for us. We sang Jesus Loves Me. We had church. Just the 6 of us. Then we snuggled. Napped on the couch. Watched movies. Enjoyed our blessings.

By the end of the weekend I was pooped. Missing my husband. Eager for him to come home. I'm so very thankful to be walking side by side on this journey. I'm so thankful for the man God chose just for me. As our vows said, he is my best friend and my deepest love. Thank you God for Cory! Thank you for bringing him home safely. Thank you that our family is back together again. Thank you for protecting us. Thank you for sending your son. Thank you.

And The Winners Are...

Remember my giveaway? The one where I was going to post the winners on my birthday?? The one that I totally wanted to have good prizes for??? Well, what I wanted to do didn't quite work out. And my ambitions for posting last week OBVIOUSLY went to the wayside. BUT, I am finally here. Back to reveal the winners and their amazing stories. I promise to still share mine, just not now... I'd rather just reveal.

Thank you so much to everyone who shared. I really and truly loved reading your stories. Loved seeing God's work. I teared up for each and every single one. Thank you for sharing such raw pieces of your heart. Thank you. Truly.

So, without further delay, the proud new owner's of Starbucks cards are...

Mrs. D...

I received Christ when I was about 8. I walked with Him and I walked away many times in my life. He has been with me all along the way. Molding me and shaping me for when He would be able to use me. God showed up in a very real way… a way that I was unable to move to the left or right to miss Him.

We had just had our second daughter who lived in me for 35 weeks and then went to be with the Lord just before she was born. That was the beginning of the realness of God for me. When I had nothing else He was there. I didn't know that I had built my foundation on The Rock until the wind came and I didn't waver. As I think back over the last almost 2 years I see God's Hand in everything. I didn't have eyes to see before my attention was directed back to Him. After Hazel died it was like my spirit man took the wheel and drove because I was unable too. They Holy Spirit in me tuned my ears and eyes to the things of God as if I had never seen or heard Him before. I know that I did hear God before her death.. I just didn't know that it was Him. I thought that it was just my thoughts. After she was born God was whispering in my ear. When we were in the hospital fully prepared for our daughter to make her entrance alive... we weren't prepared for her arrival stillborn. We didn't know what step to take next. God orchestrated it all for us. All we had to do was act it out. Each thought that I had in the hospital I attribute to God because these were things that I never would have planned. We took video of us holding her and telling the video camera as it sat on the table what had happened that day. We had casts of her had holding my husbands thumb and a cast of her little foot. These were things that if I hadn't thought about doing I would have huge regrets that I missed out on doing with her. God in all His love gave me through everything NO REGRETS about those 21 hours that we had with her. There is not one thing that I wish I could go back and do. There is such peace in that. I thank God for being there for us every minute of that day. We had so many people praying for us in the months after that we could truly feel it.

I had just started Bible Study Fellowship earlier that year. A friend had asked me to go with her and check it out. I had heard of it because it was something that my mother-in-law had done when my husband was a child. My 1st daughter was 9 months when I started. The book we would be studying was Romans. Another reason I decided to start the study was that I was tired of being in a desert filled spiritual life. I was dry as a bone and didn't feel anything. I was waiting for God to get me out of the desert. I had enough and decided I would get out on my own. BSF was my 1st step toward awakening my spirit again. A few weeks after I started BSF I found out that I was pregnant with our 2nd child. (cool little God detail... the weeks of the bible study were in unison with how far along I was... week 8 of BSF... week 8 of pregnancy etc.) Anywhoo...I persevered through the bible study. Each week I did my lesson but I really didn't feel like I was getting anything. I would take notes during lecture... again not really "feeling" like God was talking to me. I didn't know what I know now.. God was talking to me. After Hazel was born I went back and looked through my notes and God was speaking to me loudly about suffering. I didn't even know why until I was in the middle of suffering and I had tools that HE had gave me on how to see Him in the middle of it. Cool Huh.

God has seen me through what some would consider the worst thing that could happen. The death of a child. Don’t get me wrong… it was terrible. But God had her days numbered at conception and she served the purpose of her life. She has ministered to so many people… most of whom I may never know how until Heaven. She is ministering to her older sister and her soon to be born younger brother from Heaven. If they want to meet or know where their sibling is, it requires me to tell them about the Awesome God that we serve and the choice that they have to make with their life in order to meet her. We had not planned to get pregnant with Hazel. Really… I had a 9 month old. It was one of those God planned things that I just got to be a part of. We knew that she would be a girl and we had not decided a name for her. Only once we found out that she was already in Heaven… I knew what I wanted to name her. Hazel…after my husband grandmother. She had just gone to be with the Lord the week before. I wanted to name our 1st daughter that name.. but it didn’t play out that way. I had lobbied for that name with the 2nd pregnancy but couldn’t get my husband to warm to the name….nor any members of my family. Hazel in the Hebrew means “One who sees God”. And that is our surely our daughter.

God is in the details.
He is always talking… the question is… are we listening?

Hebrews 11:35
Women received their dead raised to life again.

Ephesians 1:11
In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will,

Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

Psalm 34:18
The Lord in near to those who have a broken heart.
And saves such as have a contrite spirit.

2 Chronicles 15:2
The Lord is with you while you are with Him. If you seek Him, He will be found by you.

And Kelli...

I'm late, I'm late, but I was having computer problems. Here I am.
I truly accepted Christ when I was 17 after going to a Bible study that one of my friends held at his house. That's when it all made sense to me and after that I was baptized.
I went to college and well, let's just say I fell off the wagon. I didn't find a church home and I slipped into things that I should not have...living with Rondell being the biggest regret.
After Ron and I were married we tried for a child and got pregnant with Jamison. I had always wanted a child and was so excited to be pregnant. But during the pregnancy I got very sick, just shakey all the time, couldn't eat a lot, very tired...I lost 23 pounds. I ended up having a C-section after 26 hours of labor.
After a month I went to Cleveland for my sister's birthday. I started to have a terrible headache, which then led to a strange twitch and then a stutter (like I was having a stroke). I went to the ER and it was determined that I had post pardum depression and I was experiencing an anxiety attack from all of the depression. Tough times.
I did have some healing but not completely.
I got pregnant with Caleb and about my third trimester started having severe depression symtoms and decided, with doctor's approval, to start taking an anti-depressant. It helped.
The moment when God truly stepped in, and grabbed me tight was shortly after Caleb was born. Rondell decided that he wanted to go to a conference in Atlanta. Without hesitation, I told him to go and enjoy. That was nothing but God because I tended to rely on Rondell very much. So, he went and God showed me that I was a good mom and very capable of being independent, not independent of Rondell but just that He had given me the tools to be the kind of mother He designed. My eyes opened up to Him that weekend and I will never forget it. He broke through a wall I thought I could never tear down...and I can't...not by myself but with Him. God is so good and He showed me that and from there, there's no turning back!

Girls, email me your addresses and I'll get those to you. And thank you again to everyone who shared!

I Get You One For Your Birthday

Mildly inappropriate. Insanely funny. I'm so tired. I just want to have someone giggle along with me...

Today, while changing Brenton's diaper he reached down to his parts and said,

"Is this mine?"

"Yes, honey. It is."

"You don't have a p****??"

"No, sweetie. I don't."

"I get you one for your birthday." (This said with much concern as if to say, "don't worry, Mom, I'll fix that for you)

"It's okay honey. I'm good."

"You don't want one???"

"Nope. I'm good."

I've been giggling about this all day. My boy cracks me up. So concerned. So sweet. Such a love. What a blessing my baby is!

Weeds

I spent 2 1/2 days weeding my garden and yard. 2 1/2 days getting rid of all the unsightly. Life sucking. Weeds. My fingers were sore. My hands were sore. I was walking like an old lady who could not stand up straight. My head hurt. My shoulders hurt. It was not an easy task. I was flat out pooped.

But, man oh man. When I was done, I gazed upon all that I had accomplished. I'd catch myself glancing out the window at my weed free yard. It was beautiful. So clean. Ready for spring. And summer. Ready to have vegetables planted. Gorgeous.

I have to admit I was quite proud. I just recently started liking yard work. I still pat myself on the back way too much. Knowing that I had done all that work made me feel pretty darn good about myself. Until 2 days ago. Only days after finishing...

There was a weed. And then another one. Before I knew I could see so many new weeds popping through. Seriously? I just got done with this!

It made me think about life. So often, I work so hard to get my time with God. To carve out time in my day. Time to just sit and visit with my Lord and Savior. To take in His words. To soak up His wisdom. To share my life with Him. I'll get in a good pattern. I'll be on a role. Excited to spend that time with Him. Excited that I've made it all come together. And then it happens...

Weeds...

Creeping in...

Bad habits...

The computer...

The T.V...

A book...

Phone calls...

Chores...

Business...

Not God...

Before I know it, the weeds in my life have taken over again. All that I worked so hard for is gone. I can't just coast with yard work. I can't just coast with God.

Weeds.

Cleaning them up also made me think of trials. They are painful. We can be worked to the bone. When we're done, God's work is a masterpiece. But that masterpiece cannot just stand alone. It still needs to be maintained or it will fall apart. Weeds will start to creep back in. The enemy will start to creep back in.

Weeds. They've been sneaking back in. I haven't had my time with God like I so desire. I confess. I've sat down many times and my kids interrupt. They ask for this or that. They ultimately win. I need to be strong. I want that time. I need that time.

I finally carved some time out this morning and read Matthew. I sat and read of Jesus in His final days here on earth. Read about his death and resurrection. He gave so much for me. A broken sinner. A woman who lets weeds creep back in. A woman who allows other things to come between her and her God. He loves me. He desires me. He gave His life for me. It is humbling. It brings tears to my eyes. It brings me to my knees. I can't coast. I need God. I can't just sit back and be proud of what I've accomplished. It doesn't matter. My hard work is not what saves me. It is my God. It is by His grace and His alone.

"But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."
Ephesians 2:4-10

I'm so thankful that He loves me. That He would die for me. So thankful that time and time again, He gives me another chance. That He never stops pursuing me. I'm so thankful for this day. For time to reflect on His life and death. For time to spend with my family. To teach my children about Christ's love for us. To teach them of His sacrifice.

"But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
Romans 5:8

"For God so loved the world, that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him, shall not perish but have eternal life."
John 3:16

32

32 years ago today, my parents got in a huge fight...

32 years ago today, my mom went and did a little retail therapy with 2 babes in tow...

32 years ago today, my mom went into labor...

6 weeks early...

32 years ago today, my parents had their 3rd and final child. Their 2nd girl...

32 years ago today, my blessed life began...

32 years.

Holy Cow.

Where does the time go??

Just yesterday, I was riding my bike home from the movie theater and playing Billy Goats Gruff at the park...

Just yesterday, I went to my first dance...

Just yesterday, I had my first kiss...

Just yesterday, I started to drive...

Just yesterday, I fell in love...

Just yesterday, I went off to college...

Just yesterday, I married my love...

Just yesterday, I found out I was pregnant...

Again...

And again...

And again...

And again...

Just yesterday, Cole came to stay...

Just yesterday...

Crazy to think so much has happened. Crazy to think I was only 16 when Cory and I fell in love. Crazy to think that I've been with him almost as long as we were apart. Crazy.

The Lord has been so good to me. He has blessed me beyond measure. What a day to sit and reflect. I praise you Lord for my life. For my memories. For the amazing friends you have brought into my life. For the calm. And for the storms. Thank you for loving me so incredibly much. Thank you.
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As for your 13, this is the last day to get your stories in. Please. Please. Please share! And please don't make the birthday girl grovel!!

Surprise!

Caden came home from school a couple of weeks ago looking like this...


He lost a tooth! Three days later, out came another...

On Wednesday, my sweet husband took me out to dinner for my birthday. However, as we were driving down the road, he said, "do you want to go shopping?" Um, Yeah! He took me to the mall and proceeded to buy my TWO new bras!! So nice for a girl who only has one and would wear a sports bra to give her "real" bra a rest. Thanks Baby!


On Thursday, I had begged for sweet hubs to come home early. He was going to be gone all weekend and I was already missing him. Surprise! He walked in the door just after lunchtime. Thanks Babe!!

During nap time that very same day, hubs and I were enjoying some snuggles and heard screaming coming from Brenton's room. Absolute. Terror filled. Screaming. As I opened Brent's door, he came running out of his room shrieking, "I need to wash my hands!!!!! I need to wash my hands!!!" and proceeded to run, crying into the bathroom. Apparently, he was poopy. Apparently, he had tried to clean it up himself. This was made apparent by the PILE of wipes on the floor in his room and the poop that was ALL over his hand. Surprise!!

During the very same nap time, I went to check on Ella. As I opened the door, this is what I found...

Saturday morning I received a phone call from my wonderful friend Amy. Our husbands had been planning a little surprise of their own. Amy was going to be flying up on Sunday to help me celebrate my birthday. Surprise!!!!

Monday morning, while getting dressed, I had to run downstairs for something. This is what I found...

Surprise!!

Yesterday, while shopping with my wonderful friend, I received a phone call from the school. Apparently, my sweet boy had fallen and hit the back of his head on a tree on Sunday. Apparently, he hasn't mentioned anything about this to Cory or I. Apparently, my sweet boy was showing signs of a concussion. Oh sweet boy. You really need to tell us about these things! Surprise! Sweet boy was then stuck having to sit beside me at the t-ball game instead of being allowed to run around and play. He was thrilled...

When leaving for said t-ball game, we looked in the back seat to find this...

Oh my. Melt my heart and make me giggle. Seriously. Surprise! Trish, this one's for you!

This family is keeping me on my toes. Making me laugh. Making me pull my hair out. My birthday is tomorrow and I'm thinking that, at this rate, I should be gray by next year!

Does Jesus Have a Flashlight???

We were driving home today and 3rd Day was singing "Tunnel"...

"There's a light at the end of the tunnel
Shining bright at the end of this tunnel
For you, For you..."

To which Ella said,

Mom, did they say tunnel??

Yes, sweetie...

Why did they say tunnel?

Well, sometimes when people are going through really tough times, they'll say, "I can't see the light at the end of this tunnel." It means that they don't see an end to their troubles. This song is talking about how Jesus is our light at the end of the tunnel. He is our hope. We just need to hold on through the painful times.

Does Jesus have a flashlight???

No, sweetie. It's just a saying. He's our light. Our hope.

Can you turn it back up, Mom?

"Then Jesus spoke to them again saying, "I am the light of the world. He who follows me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life."

John 8:12
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Please keep you stories coming! I so want to hear how God has worked in your life... maybe it's a favorite verse that God has given you. Maybe it's a day where he has carried you through. And please, head on over to Luke's blog and say a little prayer!

As for the giveaway prizes, I've got a Starbucks card and some other goodies just waiting for someone's enjoyment and am working on something else. It will be fun. I promise!

What's Your 13?? A Give Away

I made this video playlist at myflashfetish.com

I remember when I was thirteen
I saw a picture on my TV screen
The Reverend Billy Graham and the people singing “Just As I Am”
And I felt like You were talking to me

And the whole world seemed to fade away
Until I heard my mother say
“Son, are you ok? Do you wanna pray?
And that became the hour I first believed

And next thing you know
I’m high and flying, next thing you know
My heart is in Your hands, next thing you know
There is no denying, next thing you know
I’m a brand new man

Well I wish I could say I always stayed right there
And I did until my freshman year
But the world was pulling me along way from thirteen
And You were calling but I didn’t hear

Still I knew there was something more
So one day my knees hit the dorm room floor
I said “If You’re there and if You really care
Come and talk to me like I was thirteen”

And next thing you know
I’m high and flying, next thing you know
My heart is in Your hands, next thing you know
There is no denying, next thing you know
I’m a brand new man

I Got a picture in my head today
Of how Heaven might look someday
I see the people there so I pull up a chair
And their stories they blew me away

‘Cause I can see it on every face
The evidence of grace
And as I listen it occurs to me
Everybody’s got their own thirteen

So what’s your story about His glory?
You gotta find your place in the history of grace

And next thing you know
I’m high and flying, next thing you know
My heart is in Your hands, next thing you know
There is no denying, next thing you know
I’m a brand new man
-Matthew West

I love this song. I've heard it so many times. I've only sung along to the chorus. I hadn't heard the WHOLE song... until last week. Then I REALLY loved it! It also got me thinking...

My birthday is coming up. I've been wanting to do a give away. I figured my birthday is as good a time as any.

So, here's the deal... I want to know, what's your 13? What's your story about God's glory? When have you seen God's hand working in your life? What's your testimony? I want to hear your stories. I want to know how God has blessed you. I want God's light to be shining through.

I can't imagine a better birthday present that to celebrate God and His blessings. How He has worked good through the pain. I'll share my story on my birthday...

I'm giving you an entire week to enter this give away. A week to share your story. A week to share about God's glory. Bring on the stories!

***Get an extra entry if you go over and say a prayer for Luke!***

**Get 2 entries for posting about Luke's prayer chain on your blog and adding the button**

**Get another entry for mentioning this give away... I want stories!**