Lies were brought up once again. I hate lies. I hate Satan. I hate him. I've posted about lies before. I even posted about my lie. The one that I believe. Unfortunately, it has continued to fester. The enemy has continued to poke and to prod. He has thrown more lies my way. And I have believed...
I am dumb...
I am a selfish friend...
I talk too much...
I listen too little...
I have no gifts, God skipped me on that one...
I am worthless...
These lies have caused me to disregard anyone's comments. When someone would say something encouraging to me I would honestly think to myself, "that's okay. There's no need to lie. I know the truth." I'm not kidding. I would think, "that's sweet, but unnecessary. I know the truth."
I received the nicest words in my birthday cards, I sat and wondered... were my friends words true, or were they just being nice... I loved hearing the words, but I truly did not believe a bit of them.
As I sat praying on Saturday night, I prayed not only for healing for all the women I had spoken to that day, but I also prayed that God would show me my purpose. That God would reveal the gifts He had given me. He was, as He always is, faithful.
My friends did not know I had prayed this prayer. As we sat talking, I did reveal my lie. Only, as much as I knew it was my lie, I believed it too. One friend said, "I know what your spiritual gift is. It's encouragement." To which the other friend wholeheartedly agreed. One friend looked at me with skepticism. She wondered if I would accept these words as truth or if I would instead shrug them off. I told her of my prayer. I knew my friends words were from God. My friend added that she believed that I also have the gift of discernment. She had seen it. I sat in awe at how quickly God replied.
The next morning while sitting at small group, one of the women was saying how she loved that our group was inter generational. She looked at me and said that she enjoyed hearing someone younger than her have such wisdom. I started crying. I looked away. I thank the Lord.
It feels odd to even share this. And as I do I can hear the enemy's whispers. He is trying to dispel God's truth. He is trying to tell me that no one will believe that I have these gifts. That they will roll their eyes. That I really am not what God has shown me to be. Sorry Satan.
IT IS WRITTEN...
"Oh Lord, You have searched me and known me.
You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.
You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.
Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from your presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, You are there;
If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall lead me.
If I say, "Surely the darkness shall fall on me,"
Even the night shall be light about me;
Indeed, the darkness shall not kide from You;
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
For you formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother's womb.
I will PRAISE You, for I am FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made;
MARVELOUS are Your works,
And that my soul KNOWS very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret.
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with you."
Psalms 139:1-17
"He fashions their hearts individually;
He considers all their works."
Psalms 33:15
"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for GOOD works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."
Ephesians 2:10
"Oh Lord, You have searched me and known me.
You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.
You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.
Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from your presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, You are there;
If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall lead me.
If I say, "Surely the darkness shall fall on me,"
Even the night shall be light about me;
Indeed, the darkness shall not kide from You;
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
For you formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother's womb.
I will PRAISE You, for I am FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made;
MARVELOUS are Your works,
And that my soul KNOWS very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret.
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with you."
Psalms 139:1-17
"He fashions their hearts individually;
He considers all their works."
Psalms 33:15
"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for GOOD works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."
Ephesians 2:10
11 comments:
Praise God for your breakthrough! Praise Him for answered prayer!
You have some awesome scripture references right in the post. May I suggest that you write them (and any others you think of) on index cards? Then post them throughout your home where you can see them, and/or carry them in your purse, reading them throughout the day.
AND...the next time your hear those whispers from the enemy, ask him this:
"If these things are not true, then why are they BOTHERING YOU so much?!" Then tell him to go to hell...where he belongs! ;o)
Blessings....
what a cool answer to prayer. yes, meredith. you do have those gifts!! May He continue to use you in a mighty way in the lives of others. and btw...if "hugs" were a spiritual gift...that would be an easy one! ;)
The retreat that I went to recently talked about the exact same thing...lies Satan tells us. It was great and really brought to the surface some things for me. I'm glad you got an answer to your prayer...I can just tell from your posts and hearing Amy talk about you that you're a wonderful person, great to be around...your posts always encourage me and get me thinking...that's a good thing! Keep leaning on Him.
I got tears in my eyes when you wrote that you didn't believe all the nice things people said about you in your b-day cards. I can't believe you could consider yourself a selfish friend. It seriously made me cry to know that you would think that. Praise God that He revealed the TRUTH to you, my sweet friend. I completely agree with the fact that you are gifted at encouraging and discernment. I hope that you continue to believe it too, so that you can use your gifts for God's purpose in your life and in others'.
Love you!!
love you mere- so glad to have you in my life. i am in awe at your walk with the lord and think about you throughout the day. praise god!
you are an amazing woman.
Isn't the Book of Psalms just wonderful and comforting. I am just beginning to have more of an appreciation for that book of the Bible.
So glad you had a wonderful time at the retreat since I talked you into it and I didn't go!
Hugs!
A wonderful reminder that the insecurities we feel are indeed lies from Satan. I'm amazed at the lies that we believe and how true they really feel to us sometimes. I'm so glad God revealed the absolute TRUTH to you. And I agree with the sentiments that have been shared with you. You are very encouraging and you DO have such wisdom. Thanks for sharing!
I love this post so much. It's so honest and it hits home for me so much. I see that Satan doesn't have to know each of us women individually, he knows that we are all hard on ourselves and many of us feel like our value is less than those around us. Thank you so much for sharing this. Satan is a jerk, don't you believe a word he says!
I don't "know" you personally, but only from what you post on your blog and I have to say that I wholeheartedly agree with your friends. Even in the emails we've shared, you've been SO encouraging to me. I'm SO glad that you got an answer to your prayer almost instantly. I pray that Satan doesn't get to tear you down any longer and that you believe what Jesus has told you are your gifts.
Thanks for being so open!
Jill Phillips sings a song about Satan's lies. It was written by her husband after he read the book "The Screwtape Letters" by CS Lewis (the book describes one demon's attempts to destroy the Enemy - God - by going after the weaknesses and insecurities of one of God's followers). In the song she sings to Satan, who is attacking her and lying to her. She says:
"I refuse to be locked up in here like a prison cell
Where all I ever get is a meal and four walls
I used to be just fine in here but not anymore
Gonna break through these steel bars"
and at the end of the song she yells at Satan, "I won't let you win. I have no doubt. I don't want you in, so get out, get out."
Sometimes I turn that song way up and yell that at Satan too. I used to accept his lies about me as truth. But not anymore.
You are beautiful.
You are smart.
You are wise.
You are valuable.
You are encouraging.
You are insightful.
You are an amazing friend.
Love you.
Thanks for being so honest at the retreat. It's nice to see others listen to the enemy sometimes too...and it's encouraging to know if he was able to lie to you about those things than he can lie to me too...you are a wonderful friend...even to me, just in passing at church...you are so real and easy to talk to. I enjoy seeing you and hearing what 'real' thing you are going to say to me next...and if you talk a lot, it's because the Lord has put words in your mouth for you to speak! Anyhow, thanks for being You.
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