Christmas Eve 2006December is a month full of memories. Happy memories. Sad memories. Exciting memories. Terrifying memories.
Today, my head is replaying December 10th, 2006. Yesterday, the 9th. I went to sleep last night. Remembering that 2 years ago, I was sleeping by myself while Cory lay in a hospital bed. It was supposed to be my last night home without him. I was supposed to be picking him up the next day. Bringing him home after an 8 day stay.
The phone rang on the morning of the 10th. It was Cory. Just as he was calling, I noticed my neighbor walking over. Excitedly, I opened the door. She had come to make muffins with us. It was early. I wasn't leaving for a bit. It sounded like a great idea. Then, Cory gave me the news. He wasn't coming home. He was still too sick. He had called my neighbor before calling me. Asking her to come over and be with me as he told me... I lost it.
I moved through the morning in shock. I had expected Cory to come home. At the same time, a little relieved. Knowing that he was still so sick. Knowing that he would only be coming home to lay on the couch. There was no end in sight. At least, if he were at the hospital, he would be getting the care he needed. Maybe, if he were at the hospital he would get better.
I was getting ready to leave and the phone rang again. It was Cory. The Dr. had found something suspicious and they were taking him in for emergency surgery. The surgeon was on her way to the hospital. They were taking him soon. I needed to hurry.
I will never forget walking into his room. I saw our friends face first. It terrified me. He looked at me with so much concern. As if to say, "I'm so sorry. I love you." I looked at Cory's face. It terrified me more. I knew it was not good. He looked beyond scared. As I was telling him this last night. He was surprised. He remembers trying to put a "brave" face on so as not to scare me.
The surgeon arrived. It was time to go. She was unsure of what she would find. They wheeled him down. I held his hand. Tears streaming down my face. I have never been so scared. Ever. We got to the doors. I kissed him. Smelled his face. Smelled his hands. Tried to take photographs in my head... just in case.
December 10th, 2006 was a dark day. I remember it in black. I remember sitting in the waiting room. Slowly, one by one, our dear friends starting walking in. They were there to sit with me. Pray with me. Pray for Cory.
The surgery went well. The surgeon was a bit amazed by what she found. Cory would be okay. She was able to fix the problem. Things would get better from here.
I remember seeing him after surgery. He looked better than he had in months. He was okay. I soaked him in. I didn't want to leave.
I arrived home that night to my mom. She had made the long journey over so she could help with the kids. I was so thankful to have her there.
Dinner had arrived earlier that evening. It was from someone I had never met. She belonged to our church and just really wanted to bless us with a meal. I'm not sure she'll ever really know how she truly blessed me. With dinner there was also a card and a little present. Although, things were looking better with Cory, I still had a hard time feeling joy. The surgery was not what we had expected. Although he was healed, it was not in the way we thought. My head was reeling.
The front of the card said this...
"We don't find joy; it finds us, often surprising us when it arrives - making us smile for no apparent reason, breaking into a tune when no one is around to hear it." Nicole Johnson
"My heart greatly rejoices, and with my song I will praise Him." Psalm 28:7
The inside said this...
"I bet it is really hard to find joy with all that is going on right now. My prayer is that joy will FIND you!"
Her words went straight to my heart. She didn't know me and yet God gave her the words I needed to hear. I love it when He does that. He knew what I needed and He provided. Joy did find us. Daily. God was there everyday. With phone calls. Hugs. Emails. Visits. God was there. Bringing us joy. It was amazing.
I sat down at my computer that night. My inbox was full of prayers. They had been flying across the internet all day. I still have those emails. Holding them tight. Reminding myself of God's goodness. His grace. His mercy. His joy.
December 20th, Cory came home. Just in time for Christmas. God gave us our own Christmas miracle. We were so very thankful to have him home. Healing. Praising the Lord.
Cory was asked to share his testimony at church this last year. They were doing a series on James. When our pastor read James 1, Cory was who he thought of...
Today, my head is replaying December 10th, 2006. Yesterday, the 9th. I went to sleep last night. Remembering that 2 years ago, I was sleeping by myself while Cory lay in a hospital bed. It was supposed to be my last night home without him. I was supposed to be picking him up the next day. Bringing him home after an 8 day stay.
The phone rang on the morning of the 10th. It was Cory. Just as he was calling, I noticed my neighbor walking over. Excitedly, I opened the door. She had come to make muffins with us. It was early. I wasn't leaving for a bit. It sounded like a great idea. Then, Cory gave me the news. He wasn't coming home. He was still too sick. He had called my neighbor before calling me. Asking her to come over and be with me as he told me... I lost it.
I moved through the morning in shock. I had expected Cory to come home. At the same time, a little relieved. Knowing that he was still so sick. Knowing that he would only be coming home to lay on the couch. There was no end in sight. At least, if he were at the hospital, he would be getting the care he needed. Maybe, if he were at the hospital he would get better.
I was getting ready to leave and the phone rang again. It was Cory. The Dr. had found something suspicious and they were taking him in for emergency surgery. The surgeon was on her way to the hospital. They were taking him soon. I needed to hurry.
I will never forget walking into his room. I saw our friends face first. It terrified me. He looked at me with so much concern. As if to say, "I'm so sorry. I love you." I looked at Cory's face. It terrified me more. I knew it was not good. He looked beyond scared. As I was telling him this last night. He was surprised. He remembers trying to put a "brave" face on so as not to scare me.
The surgeon arrived. It was time to go. She was unsure of what she would find. They wheeled him down. I held his hand. Tears streaming down my face. I have never been so scared. Ever. We got to the doors. I kissed him. Smelled his face. Smelled his hands. Tried to take photographs in my head... just in case.
December 10th, 2006 was a dark day. I remember it in black. I remember sitting in the waiting room. Slowly, one by one, our dear friends starting walking in. They were there to sit with me. Pray with me. Pray for Cory.
The surgery went well. The surgeon was a bit amazed by what she found. Cory would be okay. She was able to fix the problem. Things would get better from here.
I remember seeing him after surgery. He looked better than he had in months. He was okay. I soaked him in. I didn't want to leave.
I arrived home that night to my mom. She had made the long journey over so she could help with the kids. I was so thankful to have her there.
Dinner had arrived earlier that evening. It was from someone I had never met. She belonged to our church and just really wanted to bless us with a meal. I'm not sure she'll ever really know how she truly blessed me. With dinner there was also a card and a little present. Although, things were looking better with Cory, I still had a hard time feeling joy. The surgery was not what we had expected. Although he was healed, it was not in the way we thought. My head was reeling.
The front of the card said this...
"We don't find joy; it finds us, often surprising us when it arrives - making us smile for no apparent reason, breaking into a tune when no one is around to hear it." Nicole Johnson
"My heart greatly rejoices, and with my song I will praise Him." Psalm 28:7
The inside said this...
"I bet it is really hard to find joy with all that is going on right now. My prayer is that joy will FIND you!"
Her words went straight to my heart. She didn't know me and yet God gave her the words I needed to hear. I love it when He does that. He knew what I needed and He provided. Joy did find us. Daily. God was there everyday. With phone calls. Hugs. Emails. Visits. God was there. Bringing us joy. It was amazing.
I sat down at my computer that night. My inbox was full of prayers. They had been flying across the internet all day. I still have those emails. Holding them tight. Reminding myself of God's goodness. His grace. His mercy. His joy.
December 20th, Cory came home. Just in time for Christmas. God gave us our own Christmas miracle. We were so very thankful to have him home. Healing. Praising the Lord.
Cory was asked to share his testimony at church this last year. They were doing a series on James. When our pastor read James 1, Cory was who he thought of...
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position. But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower. For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business.
Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."
The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position. But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower. For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business.
Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."
I'm pretty sure I've never considered my trials pure joy DURING the trial. However, I can say that after the fact, we are so thankful. Thankful for where the Lord has brought us. Thankful that he has met us and carried us every step of the way. Thankful for the blessings. Thankful for growing closer to Him and to each other. Thankful to walk through trials so that we can understand others' pain. Thankful to be blessed through trials so that we know how to bless others. Thankful for the joy he sends our way when joy seems lost. God is always faithful! Praise the Lord!
6 comments:
You had me getting all choked up. What a great testimony. I'm so glad that you guys had a happy ending.
I'm sorry I didn't remember that it was the 10th when I called you this morning, complaining about my puking child. You should tell the person who brought you the meal how much her card and her words meant to you. I remember who brought you that meal! She is the most thoughtful person and so incredibly selfless. She has the spiritual gift, and uses it wisely.
Love you. Miss you. It was good to see you.
I love that verse in James, if we can hang in there through the trials God will build up our character. you have hung in there and I see that Godly character in you. Touching story.
Mere, you are such an amazing writer!!
Your guys' testimony is so moving and you really have a way with words. Someday I hope to read it all in print!!
Love you.
It's a night many of us will never forget. Praise God for the miracles! I love how God provides for EVERYTHING that we need...even from a stranger. It's pretty cool to be able to look back and see how far you've come from that day!
And Trish is right...you are an AMAZING writer.
Once again Mere you have me in tears. What a great reminder of Gods faithfulness.I needed to hear that today. I am so thankful for you and for your family! Love you!
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