Journey To Blogland

I first started blog hopping when I received an email from a good friend. At the bottom of her email was her signature which happened to include her blog address. I had always thought she was a good writer and thought I'd take a peek. Not realizing that what I was about to do could cause an addictive behavior. Not realizing that once I clicked, I could never go back. Not realizing that for better or worse, once I clicked I would get sucked into peoples lives. People I didn't even know. People that didn't know me. And so, I clicked.

It started innocently enough. I would check her blog every so often and then click on her friends blogs. Many of whom were people that I knew as well. I loved that I felt I could get to know people a little better without actually getting to know them. Then it became a little weird. I didn't comment and yet, I would be at church, asking how they were doing. Knowing much more than they knew I knew. I had read their blog after all. I started telling people, "hey, I read your blog." Almost like a precursor. Stalking can't be that bad if they know you've been there. Right? Then I would get comments... why don't you leave a comment? You should comment. So, if I didn't comment, I felt I was cheating. I was getting to "know" these girls and they had no idea.

My comment argument started innocently as well. I truly could not figure it out. I know that it's not rocket science, but I had tried once, got flustered and gave up. However, as time went on it became more about the fact that I just felt completely uncomfortable posting. I wasn't the one who had signed up to start a blog. I wasn't willing to put myself out there. Sure, I could read the blogs of others, but I just didn't want to put my stuff out there. Posting caused me to be insecure. What if I made a dumb comment? What if my comment irritated the poster? What if it irritated the other readers? No. I would not go there. But, I did. I started commenting. I commented often and sure enough, I listened to the enemy when he said to stop it. I listened when he said my comments were dumb and unappreciated. I should have put my earplugs in. Instead, he won that victory.

People then started saying I should start a blog too. They would argue that it's fun. I would argue that to start a blog would be my downfall. That the enemy would have a feeding frenzy. I just knew that if I started a blog and no one commented, that I would be crushed. That I would feel like I was dumb. That no one liked me. Yep. That's what I told myself. I knew my insecurities and I wasn't going to let Satan win this one. I would not let him get a foothold. Not me.

August rolled around. I got an invitation to join Facebook. I joined and was fascinated by how quickly you could connect to people you hadn't seen in years. It was so fun to hear from old friends. As I posted more, I started adding pictures too. I then realized that I should just start a blog. I could post pictures. Keep my friends and family up to date on our happenings. I would not make it about who did or did not comment. It would just be for me. It would be something I could make a photobook out of for my kids. It would be a sort of journal. And so it began.

I now know that it was the enemy telling me to stay away. In trying to keep him away, I was really letting him win. I'm positive that the enemy HATES blogland. He hates that it's a way to connect with others. He hates that we can pray and learn about people we have never met. He hates that we can share our lives with others. That we can share what God has done in our lives. That we can bring the lies into the light. I'm sure he's squirming as I write this post.

I can admit that there have been a couple times where I have felt VERY vulnerable. It's not always comfortable putting yourself out there. There have been posts that I needed someone to comment. Not because I wanted comment love, but because I felt alone in my feelings. That maybe I was the only one.

The great thing? God has blessed that. Let me start by saying, I am NOT trying to pat myself on the back here. I'm patting God on the back. Giving Him the glory. I have prayed for him to bless my blog. That he would not let Satan get the best of me. That I would not buy into his lies. But that my posts, my openness would cause others to feel that they are not alone. I have been humbled and thankful to find that my blog is doing just that. That as I listen to God and shed light on the darkness that He can be nothing by glorified.

I'm thankful that as I journal and ramble on that I often feel God's presence. I may start off the post frustrated. Lost. But, as I put my thoughts down, my heartbeat slows. My anxiety lessens. And by the end, I can see God in all of it. It's funny. If I weren't posting about my life, I probably would be missing out on a lot of what God has to offer. If I weren't thinking it through, it would fly right on over my head. I'm thankful for this outlet. I'm thankful that we have this blogland. As the title of my blog states, these ramblings are VERY therapeutic to me.

My prayer is that God would continue to have victory over our blogs. That He would be continually glorified. That people would truly pray for the blogs they run across where there is someone feeling alone. That people would not allow blogs to overwhelm them. That they would not cause greater isolation. That just because "Susie blogger" can get all that done and more doesn't mean she's any better than you. That no one is perfect... even if their blog makes them look that way. No one's kids are clean all the time. No one's house is clean all the time. No one gets along with their husband all the time. No one gets it right all the time. No one can truly get IT all done. I promise.

Thank you Lord for this journal. Thank you that others are willing to share their guts. Thank you for giving us another tool to connect with others. You are beyond awesome Lord!