Not Me Monday

It's Not Me Monday again and man oh man, am I thankful. I'm thankful for MckMama and that fact that she so brilliantly started the "Not Me's". I'm especially thankful for Not Me's this morning. I cannot wait to go visit some blogs and have me some laughs. I'm tired. I'm worn out. It's only Monday. It's only 8:59. I have a long way to go. So here you go, all the things that I most absolutely did NOT do this week...

To start with, I did not just have to try and sign in to google 3 times. Having to backspace way too much. My mind is not foggy. My fingers are not getting ahead of themselves. I did not see the login. Know I needed to login. And yet, still proceed to start to type my full name... followed by trying to type the first sentence of my post... followed by trying to spell my name correctly. And I am not having a hard time typing at this moment. And seriously debating keeping all my spelling errors in here just so you can see how my brain is functioning this morning. That would be downright embarrassing. I would never. Not me...

I am not ready to run away to Mexico. And I definitely would not feel like that so early in the morning. Especially when I did not just have a day all to myself on Saturday. I am not already thoroughly exhausted just thinking about all the laundry that needs to be done today. The toilet that does not need to be scrubbed. The dishes that would never fill up my sink and the toys that most absolutely do not need to be organized. Nope. Not me. None of those things need to be done. So I do not need to do them. I might as well sit and read a good book today...

I did not completely enjoy a day away on Saturday. I would never be so indulgent. I did not scrapbook EIGHT pages while visiting with a woman I am so thankful to call "friend". I did not go into town in my husbands old sweats, greasy hair and no make-up. I care far too much what people think of me and I would never dream of embarrassing my friend like that. I surely looked just as cute as she did. Yep. I sure did!

And I absolutely did not wake up last week. Needing to go to the store. Wishing that I was of Finnish descent so that I, too, could look fantastic without make-up. I did not then proceed to put on make-up purely so that I did not scare all those who had to look at my tired face. Nor did I continue to wish my relatives were from Finland... Nope. I love my skin. I love the bags under my eyes. I love the smile lines. I love spending 10 minutes putting on make-up in the morning...

I did not finally take the nail polish off of my big toe that has been on there since October. I am much more on top of it than that. And I did not look at my feet the rest of the week and think that they looked so pretty without the chipped off nail polish. Again. I am MUCH more on top of it than that. And as I've already established... I care way more than that.

I did not have 3 people tell me I looked great at Mom's group last week. They did not then ask if I had lost weight. I did not then laugh and tell them "sure haven't". Of course I looked great. Of course I've lost weight. I did not then feel the need to be completely honest with them and tell them that there is NO WAY I could have lost any weight. Especially when I chased my oh so healthy salad with a Hershey bar last week. With peanut butter on top. Twice. In one day. And on another. I would NEVER admit that to anyone. Especially someone who thinks I lost weight. First of all, who eats like that? Second, who admits that? And third, REALLY???

I am not now motivated to get a little healthier so that I no longer feel compelled to share the gruesome details of my stress eating. I am not now motivated because I have to schedule a physical. I am not now motivated because I don't want the nurse or the doctor to know what I weigh. First of all, I've already established I don't stress eat. Second, we all know I look great and have lost weight. Third, why wouldn't I want the nurse and the doctor to know my weight? It's fabulous number one. And number two, they flat out don't care... Why would I need to get healthier. I already am healthy as can be. Yep. That's me...

I am not worried that people might start thinking that I've let myself go. I am not worried that I might end up on What Not to Wear one of these days. I have never gone to the website to see if I could nominate myself and I was not terribly disappointed when it said that I couldn't. As I said, I've never been there, so how would I know? And remember, I look fabulous??

I did not talk about sex on my blog last week. I did not recommend that anyone go get a little red in the face and read Song of Solomon. I would never dream of talking about sex on my blog. I would be far too embarrassed. And I did not act like a 2 year old in church yesterday as my pastor proceeded to talk about sex. I did not giggle with embarrassment and have to hide my face in my husbands arm. Nope. Not. Me. I am much more mature than that. I am almost 32 after all.

And I am not feeling a little better now that I've divulged all the things I did not do this week. I am not still having a hard time typing. We all know that I am Supermom. It's all good...

So, what did you not do this week? What things do you absolutely not need to confess? Head on over to MckMama's blog and go see what she and so many other would never dream of doing...