I'm Gonna Puke... Alternately Titled: Not Me Monday

Holy c***!! What a Monday it's been!! Monday is staring me in the face saying, "how do you like me now??" If you'd have asked me an hour and a half ago, I'd have told you it's been an absolutely perfect Monday. Seriously. However, as of a little after noon, it was Monday's gone wild at my house...



And in other news, it's time for Not Me Monday. The fantastic creation straight out of MckMama. She a fabulous blogger that I follow and I love her Not Me Mondays. A day where we get to let loose and share with the world all about the things we would never dream of doing/saying/talk about and yet, find ourselves doing just that. Head on over to My Charming Kids and go meet MckMama and all the wonderful bloggers who've shared their Not Me's as well. And without further delay...

I am NOT so stinkin' exhausted from the last hour and a half that I TRULY cannot remember my week. I, of course, have had this post all figured out for days and am ready and rearing to go. Cough... cough... pause..............................

Deep breath..........................

While being incredibly desperate regarding the shape I am currently NOT in, I did not sit down to read some materials last Sunday night only to discover some GREAT ideas. I did not then start said incredibly strict diet plan on Monday and was NOT completely thrilled that all menu options were ENTIRELY wheat free. I was NOT elated since I am now apparently allergic to wheat and with this plan I would NOT have to think a single bit about what was going into my mouth. I have NOT enjoyed eating spinach for pretty much every meal and have not found creative ways to integrate it into my food choices. I am NOT loving my egg white omelet with spinach and LOTS of mushrooms just about every morning. And I would never brag here that I have actually LOST weight this week. I don't brag about such things. Especially on my blog! And I would never go so far as to say that maybe, just maybe, I will be able to get into my pants by my birthday. Nope. Not me!!

And of course, I did NOT just write a novel above...

On Saturday, I did NOT thoroughly enjoy a couple hours to myself. I did NOT love that I got to workout amongst friends at church. And I absolutely would NOT recommend Zumba to anyone who loves to dance and workout at the same time. It surely could NOT be that fun! And, of course, I would never enjoy a little me time. Nope. Sure wouldn't...

When talking to my friend this week, I was NOT thoroughly excited for her and her family. I was NOT excited and definitely NOT a bit envious of their new adventure. I did NOT get off the phone, go straight to my computer, and proceed to look at LOTS and LOTS of pictures of said adventure. And I surely did NOT get a little teary at the thought of missing her wonderful hugs. I am NOT so excited to see what God has in store for them and have NOT already enjoyed watching them grow this last year...

And this morning, we did not have the MOST delightful morning. A morning filled with Jesus time, school, a little errand, a long walk with a neighbor, playing at the park, and lunch for all. I do NOT have it together enough to accomplish all those things before noon. Truly. When talking to Cory at noon, I was not gushing about how wonderful our day had been thus far. I was NOT planning to finger paint with Jackson once the little ones got into bed. And I had NOT already finished 3 loads of laundry as well...

And I was NOT enjoying that I have limited my computer time. Of course I wasn't. I did NOT realize this morning all that could be accomplished if only I stepped away from the computer. I did not love every second... Nope. Not me.

AND, my day did NOT get entirely crazy when just minutes after hanging up with hubby he called again to say he had gotten an email stating that someone wanted to come show our house. I did NOT panic because we have not shown the house in 6 months. I did NOT panic because my house was NOWHERE near show ready. I did not then frantically tell him to call the person to find out when, only to discover that a car had just pulled up to my house. I did NOT ask that they come back in 10 minutes when I should have said HOURS!! I did NOT then call my neighbor panicking and begging for help.

We did NOT then proceed to throw gobs and gobs of stuff into every nook and cranny of my house. I did NOT have to throw the dirty dishes into my oven. Clean, folded clothes into garbage bags. And piles and piles of c*** into any drawer, under beds, into cabinets that I could find...

I was NOT entirely thankful that the realtor did not return for 40 minutes. It, of course, did NOT take us EXACTLY that long to get the house ready. I was not BEYOND thankful for my sweet neighbor who gave up her precious time to come help me when I know that she has so little time at her own house...

And I was NOT incredibly IRRITATED!!! when they only stayed for SEVEN minutes!!!!!!! Seriously!!

It was NOT a funny thing that someone even wanted to look at our house. It was NOT funny because I had NOT just told my neighbor this morning that there was NO way that anyone would come look at our house because it was not priced to sell or even show. I did NOT tell her that we were planning on lowering the price of our house next Monday so that we could have the weekend to get the house "show ready" again...

My heart is NOT just starting to slow down from the craziness. And my tummy is NOT starting to growl because I still haven't fed it. I am NOT now on my way to eat some lunch and finger paint...

And I am NOT going to try and get back to my regularly scheduled programming. Thankyouverymuch Mr. Realtor.