Northern Arizona University... Part 3

My Story:
Part 1
Part 2

Off we went. Together. I was so excited for college. I was so excited to get away from the northwest. I knew that I would want to live here for the rest of my life. College was the one time that I could go see somewhere other than here.

Flagstaff was absolutely beautiful. Not too hot. AND we got snow too! We had only been there for a few days and were about to discover just how the seasonal monsoons worked. Cory and I left my dorm for the mailboxes and could tell that a storm was on it's way. We thought we had plenty of time. It couldn't come THAT fast. About half way to the post office, it's started dumping. By the time we made it back to my dorm, we were soaking wet and laughing hysterically. We knew that we would never get stuck in the middle of a storm again!

A few weeks into the school year, I was listening to a CD in my room and there was a little knock on the door. It was the girl down the hall. Her name was Krista. She recognized the singer and we started chatting. I don't truly remember much of that first conversation, but that girl down the hall became an amazing friend. We had so much fun together. We laughed. We cried. She was and is such a blessing to have as a friend.


Freshman year was spent hanging out with new friends. Griping about roommates. And continuing to learn how to get along. We had fun exploring what Northern Arizona had to offer and were amazed at all the beauty.

I was so excited to get home for Christmas break that year. My sister had just had her sweet baby boy on December 4th. I couldn't wait to get my hands on him and spent much of my break loving on my sweet nephew.

I remember the summer after freshman year. We had recently gotten home and Cory's mom and I were on our way to choir practice. I remember her saying that her leg was bothering her. I remember her saying that it reminded her of when her Dad starting showing signs of Lou Gehrig's. The Dr's thought that she was just having back problems. I remember her carrying a bag of peas around to ice her back...

We went back to school in the fall and I was so excited because my wonderful friend Krista was going to be my roommate. We had so much fun! We made some great friends down the hall and would often find ourselves getting in trouble for laughing too loud, too late. We even found ourselves getting blamed for doing backflips down the hall... backflips. Backflips??? This one blew me away since none of us had any clue as to just how to DO a backflip. But, I digress. Point is, we had LOTS of fun. And man, if I could only find those pictures...

October rolled around and our parents came down for parents weekend. Pam was having a really hard time walking. At this point, she was using a walker.

In November, we got news that the Dr's had officially diagnosed Pam with ALS/Lou Gehrig's. As hard as this was to hear, it wasn't entirely shocking. Pam's Dad had also had ALS. We were devastated.

We went home that Christmas and enjoyed every single ounce of time with Cory's mom.

Cory's mom was amazing. Words can't even begin to describe her. I cherish every memory of her. I cherish other people's stories of her. I cling to every little speck...

We went back to school for the 2nd semester and about a week or so later, Cory decided that he was going to go back home. He didn't want to miss any precious time with his mom. When he left, I lost it.

My wonderful friend, Krista, was also not my roommate. She had gotten a position as an R.A. but, thankfully, another friend was able to move in. She was a great roommate and a fantastic friend. She was so supportive when Cory was gone. When I cried for Pam. When I got angry.

I was able to come home at Valentine's Day and had a wonderful time with Cory and his family. Cory was also able to come down with my mom for a visit. I cherished every second with him.

The next time I came home, it was spring break. Pam had not been doing well at all. She was now in a hospice bed. I remember walking into their family room and seeing her face light up. I will never forget her words, "now all my kids are home". I was so thankful to be home.

That Sunday, the worship team and our pastor came over. I was watching Pam while we sang. I had tears streaming down my face as I watched... She could barely move, but there she lay in her bed, her toes tapping as she sang, her hand raised as high as she could get it. When we got done singing and everyone had left I snuggled up to her and told her I saw her dancing away. Her response? "Oh Meredith, I can't wait to get to Heaven. Then I'll be able to sing and dance again!" She loved to sing. She had a beautiful voice. She was an angel here on earth.

I got a phone call around 6:00 the following Thursday morning. It was Cory. Pam had gone to be with Jesus. I have no idea how, but somehow, I was able to fall back asleep. I had a dream that I was walking into Cory's house. The hospice bed was gone and the room looked "normal" again. I remember being utterly confused and as I looked down the hallway, Pam was walking toward me. She told me she was all better. She told me she was healed. I woke up instantly and knew that God had given me that dream. He had blessed me with such a precious gift of one last glimpse of Pam. Reminding me that she was perfect and healed and no longer in pain.

What was so amazing was that Pam had prepared so much before she died. For years, we would receive letters or gifts. All from her. Each one is so treasured. After her memorial service Cory and his family received letters from Pam. I felt so blessed to receive one too...

Dear Mere,

I love you and I am so happy that my boy has found such a wonderful girl in you. I am thankful that you love the Lord and that your commitment to Him is strong. And I have prayed for you for many many years for God to bring a Godly woman into my son's life and I am so thankful that you are the one He has brought.

I know His plan is perfect and that He picked you especially for Cory. I just pray for the days ahead, Cory has a lot of hard things to deal with and I am so thankful that you will be there to go through those hard times with him. Remind him of all our happy times and keep those for me because it really will help him get through. I am so thankful that you and I have had such a wonderful loving relationship and that we can look back with no regrets and say we had a great time with his growing up. I have to chuckle when I look at you and see how like me you are. I know they say boys marry girls that remind them of their mother and I just look at you; the grin, your laugh, your smile, your fun personality, and I can't help but see some of the same traits that I have. You love to be around people and you love good music, you love theatre and old movies, and we love life and we love my son.

Take care of him, Mere. He's gonna have some days where he's not gonna be very easy to get along with. Days like my birthday, Mother's Day. I know it will be really hard for him. So I just ask you to be there. I am so thankful that you, too, have a Godly mom that you will be able to lean on and that she will be a great comfort to him, too. Your mom has been such a good friend to me and I am so thankful that she will be around to help with all the future plans you two have. I just wanted you to know how much I love you and how thankful I am God brought you into our lives. Take care of my boy. Keep your relationship pure, honey. And keep looking to God. Thank you for being a girl who is willing to be different and stand up against the crowd of kids who think nothing of sleeping together. But you and Cory have made a better choice and I thank you. I know it is not always easy, I've been there and I am just so thankful that Scott and I were able to go into our marriage pure. And I pray that you two will be able to fight off temptation and enter your life together pure and giving each other totally to the other. I just wanted you to know how much I loved you and how thankful I am for you.

Love,
Pam

I had never prayed so hard in my life as I had prayed for Pam. Knowing that God could heal her. Knowing. I prayed. And prayed. And prayed. When Pam died, I was devastated. I simply did not understand. How in the world could there be so many rotten people in the world and God took her? How in the world? She was loving. Kind. She loved Jesus with all her heart. Why did he take her?

I went back to school angry. Very very angry. I started to make choices that were very much NOT me. I started drinking. And drinking. And drinking a little more. I cried. I was angry. It was awful.

When I got home that summer, God must have held a mirror up to my face. All of a sudden I saw myself. I saw the choices I'd been making. I did not even recognize myself. I decided then and there that I needed to make better choices. I needed to turn back to God...