1:00

******8:12 pm - The surgery is over. The Dr. said everything went as planned. My brother is doing great and he won't even have to spend the night in ICU. Praise the Lord!!! I'm so very thankful that God watched over him today. Thank you so much for your prayers!******

******7:12 pm - Mom called. Surgery is going good. They've taken all the bad stuff out and are working on putting Humpty back together again. The Dr. said that everything is going as planned and that there was no sign of cancer in the margins of the cuts. Thanks so much for all your prayers. They mean so much!******

******3:08 pm - Just talked with my mom. Surgery got started about 10 minutes ago.******



I just got off the phone with my brother and sister in law. I just had to talk to them. My brother goes in for surgery tomorrow at 1:00. The doctors will be removing half of his esophagus and half of his stomach. He will have quite an extensive scar. I'm sitting here with tears.

I hate surgery. I just do. It scares me. When I kissed Cory goodbye as he went into surgery, I kissed him like it was the last time. I smelled his face. I kissed his hands. I smelled his hands. I wanted to be able to remember every bit of him if something happened. I was terrified.

When I went into surgery to have my tubes tied, I kissed my sweet newborn and smelled his head. I took him all in. I was terrified.

When we got to the hospital the day of Traci's emergency surgery, I hated that we didn't get to kiss her and hug her before she went in. We got there too late...

My brother goes in tomorrow and I don't get to be there. I wish I could be there. I want to hug him and kiss him. I just had to hear his voice tonight.

He's doing well. He says he's probably better than everyone else. He's confident that it will be okay. I'm sure it will. I just hate surgery.

I've probably seen way too many T.V. shows where something goes wrong. That's where my head goes. The doctors can be confident. It can be a routine surgery... or not. But, you just never know. The doctors are not in control. God is. I know that He has a plan. I don't get to know what that plan is. It's unknown and when it comes to surgery I get scared.

I know that fear is not of the Lord. I am trying to just rest in His arms tonight. I'm so very thankful to be blessed with such an amazing brother. I'm so thankful for where the Lord has brought him. He is in a storm but God has shown that He has been there every step of the way. He has been faithful.

I've got my day all planned out tomorrow. At 1:00, I'll be plopping myself down in my favorite chair. Just me and God. I'll be praying my guts out. Praying for my brother. Praying for the doctors. Praying for strength and peace for my mom. Praying for endurance, strength, peace, and comfort for my sweet sister in law. Praying that God would just stoop down tomorrow, pick us up with His amazing arms and carry us all through the day. I'll be still. I'll wait. Knowing that God is in control and that He will always carry us through.