Perspective

We had some friends over for dinner last night. We joke with them because they once referred to us as "older". We're not THAT much older... They just had their 1st baby in April and it was neat to watch them with her. Their love for her just overflows. You can just see it in their eyes. They are enamored.

While talking with the mom, she was saying how she hates to be away from her sweet girl. Even leaving her in the nursery at church is hard. I loved hearing that! I had forgotten. It's funny because, most of the time I'm so thankful for where I'm at. I'm thankful that I've learned to relax and let go of a lot of things that held me down as a young mom. However, it was so refreshing for my soul to be reminded of how I used to be with my children.When Caden was a baby I hated to be away from him. We went on very few dates and didn't leave him overnight until he was a couple months past turning 1. Even when I would get the opportunity to sleep in, I would lay in bed listening to Cory and Caden. I would miss him. I didn't want to miss a moment with him. I would give up sleeping in just so that I could spend time with both my boys. I loved it and it warmed my heart.What happened? Somewhere between one child and five I lost that. I find that now, even if I can't go back to sleep when I have the chance to sleep in, I will lay in bed until the breakfast rush is over. Until the craziness stops. What I used to rush to, I now dread.

My friend and I were talking about the joy we have in raising our children. I admitted that it is hard. As a somewhat seasoned mom, it's hard to remember that our children are God's gift to us. They do bring so much amazing joy but in the day to day it sometimes doesn't feel like such a gift. There's screaming, fighting, whining and lots of poop. But still, they are such a gift. I shared about a book I've been reading. It's called Tender Mercy for a Mother's Soul. This book has changed the way I parent. It has taken the burden of trying to be a Supermom. I know longer feel as though I can't measure up. That stuff doesn't matter. What does matter is how I am raising my children. Am I doing what God would want me to do? Am I raising them to know the Lord? Are my actions showing God's love? Am I being the best mom I can be to them? After all, when I was a little girl, I never said that I wanted to be a really good cook when I grow up. Nor did I say that I wanted to be a really good housekeeper. What I wanted to be? A mom. That's all. So, I've realized that I can either be the best mom that I can be or I can be a really good cook and housekeeper. But, I can't do it all.

This book opened my eyes to the fact that the other stuff often took priority over my wonderful gifts from God. I realized that I wasn't finding the joy in my children like I used to. Since then, I've prayed that God would open my eyes. That I would see the joy.

So now. Now, when 12 year old wants to read his devotional with me, I am filled with joy. When my 7 year old climbs into my bed because he had a bad dream I relish in the fact that he still wants a snuggle from his mom. When my 5 year old just wants me, it warms my heart. When my 3 year old wants to pray like a cheerleader or a flower I smile. When my 1 year old goes running around in just a diaper, cheeks bouncing, jelly belly, I melt. I am so thankful that God has trusted Cory and I to raise these beautiful children. They are amazing. I'm also so thankful for "younger" friends and what they can help us remember... especially since my memory is definitely not what it used to be!!