Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Reminded
Cory was in the hospital. It wasn't looking good. I had just hung up the phone with my brother. It was raining. It was dreary. This song came on by Ginny Owens...
The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If you want me to
Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
Then I will go through the fire
If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When You lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone
So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the sufferin' Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to
When I cross over Jordan, I'm gonna sing, gonna shout
Gonna look into your eyes and see you never let me down
So take me on the pathway that leads me home to you
And I will walk through the valley if you want me to
Yes, I will walk through the valley if you want me to
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
Then I will go through the fire
If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When You lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone
So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the sufferin' Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to
When I cross over Jordan, I'm gonna sing, gonna shout
Gonna look into your eyes and see you never let me down
So take me on the pathway that leads me home to you
And I will walk through the valley if you want me to
Yes, I will walk through the valley if you want me to
I sat in the car. Tears streaming down my face. Wondering what in the world... Every time I hear this song, I'm back in the car. Scared. Trusting. Knowing that there IS a bigger picture. Knowing that God DOES love me. Knowing plain and simple that He IS there.
This song just came on while I was downstairs. Taken back, but also thinking about our dear friends. Heavy hearted. Praying so hard for them. Here they are. In the valley. Again.
My favorite part of the song...
This song just came on while I was downstairs. Taken back, but also thinking about our dear friends. Heavy hearted. Praying so hard for them. Here they are. In the valley. Again.
My favorite part of the song...
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When You lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone
When You lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone
So often. So true. I'm always left wondering though. Would we be where we are today had we not gone through that valley or any other valleys? Nope. Does it mean that it hurts any less? Nope. I'm so thankful to have heard this song at that moment. So thankful that every time I hear it I'm taken back. Taken back to where we were. Sitting here, where we are. Thankful for God's faithfulness, even though it may not be the way we would have chosen. Thankful that he has always been by our side. Carrying us. Loving us. Thank you Jesus!
Heard In My House
Ella: Mom, can we watch the wedding dress show?
Jack: Noooooo!! That's a girl show!
Ella: No it's not! There's boys on it too! Don't you want to watch it so you can get married someday? And be a Daddy?? Don't you want to be a Daddy????
______________________________________________________________________
I spent much of the day yesterday weeding my garden. Cory had borrowed a tiller and we had hoped to all do yard work together as a family on Saturday. The rain, however, had other ideas and decided to literally rain on our parade. We headed out Sunday but were stopped fairly quickly when HAIL started to fall. So, here I was, with the only clear day forecasted until next weekend. I literally worked my poor fingers to the bone. All the while, my kids were in and out of the house. Playing in dirt. Eating muffins. Walking all around, all the while. When I walked in the house last night at 7 I was very dismayed that the housekeeper had not shown up... Oh wait. I don't have one. But still. Thankfully, my sweet husband offered to take us all out to dinner and off we went at 7:30. The kids were so excited to go out. Their excitement pittered a bit when they discovered that a kid's meal at Applebee's did NOT include a toy. But, they were happy with the crayons and coloring sheets and just glowed as we all sat enjoying a nice dinner out. Yes. Applebees is nice. We don't often go out and if we do, we usually feel quite spoiled eating Burgerville... All was well until Ella had to pee. We went to the bathroom. She was still chipper. Then, I did the unthinkable. I pushed her sleeves up so she could wash her hands. This was followed by a meltdown of monstrous proportions and ended with me having to carry her, kicking and screaming, out to the car. Praise the Lord for his patience! He thankfully filled me with his and I was able to retell the hand washing story calmly when we all loaded in the car. And could I really blame her?? It was 8:45. We were ALL so tired. Poor girl couldn't wait to go to bed... Ella too!
____________________________________________________________________
As I said, the house was a bit neglected yesterday. I spent this morning cleaning up the downstairs and was so excited to see a nice clean kitchen. Much to my dismay, not 10 minutes after finishing, I walked downstairs to see Brenton with a big old smile on his face. Squatting on the floor. Wreaking of poop. And playing in a puddle of milk. He had dislodged the stopper on his sippy cup and had proceeded to dump his milk out. Wow. Thanks sweet boy. Thankfully, Caden saw my dismay, stopped what he was doing and came to help. Truly a sweet boy. Off to bath a baby and play with a big boy...
Jack: Noooooo!! That's a girl show!
Ella: No it's not! There's boys on it too! Don't you want to watch it so you can get married someday? And be a Daddy?? Don't you want to be a Daddy????
______________________________________________________________________
I spent much of the day yesterday weeding my garden. Cory had borrowed a tiller and we had hoped to all do yard work together as a family on Saturday. The rain, however, had other ideas and decided to literally rain on our parade. We headed out Sunday but were stopped fairly quickly when HAIL started to fall. So, here I was, with the only clear day forecasted until next weekend. I literally worked my poor fingers to the bone. All the while, my kids were in and out of the house. Playing in dirt. Eating muffins. Walking all around, all the while. When I walked in the house last night at 7 I was very dismayed that the housekeeper had not shown up... Oh wait. I don't have one. But still. Thankfully, my sweet husband offered to take us all out to dinner and off we went at 7:30. The kids were so excited to go out. Their excitement pittered a bit when they discovered that a kid's meal at Applebee's did NOT include a toy. But, they were happy with the crayons and coloring sheets and just glowed as we all sat enjoying a nice dinner out. Yes. Applebees is nice. We don't often go out and if we do, we usually feel quite spoiled eating Burgerville... All was well until Ella had to pee. We went to the bathroom. She was still chipper. Then, I did the unthinkable. I pushed her sleeves up so she could wash her hands. This was followed by a meltdown of monstrous proportions and ended with me having to carry her, kicking and screaming, out to the car. Praise the Lord for his patience! He thankfully filled me with his and I was able to retell the hand washing story calmly when we all loaded in the car. And could I really blame her?? It was 8:45. We were ALL so tired. Poor girl couldn't wait to go to bed... Ella too!
____________________________________________________________________
As I said, the house was a bit neglected yesterday. I spent this morning cleaning up the downstairs and was so excited to see a nice clean kitchen. Much to my dismay, not 10 minutes after finishing, I walked downstairs to see Brenton with a big old smile on his face. Squatting on the floor. Wreaking of poop. And playing in a puddle of milk. He had dislodged the stopper on his sippy cup and had proceeded to dump his milk out. Wow. Thanks sweet boy. Thankfully, Caden saw my dismay, stopped what he was doing and came to help. Truly a sweet boy. Off to bath a baby and play with a big boy...
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Miracles
I got to witness one of the most amazing miracles yesterday. An absolute blessing. I got to be there as my friend had her baby. An honor. A blessing. A miracle.
This is the 3rd time I've seen a baby be born. It has yet to get old. I can't imagine that it ever will. How could it?
When my friend texted me this week inviting me, I was sure she had sent the text to the wrong person. Really? I was overjoyed. Elated. It was just what I needed. To witness one of God's greatest miracles.
As my friend and I walked to lunch, I told her how walking through labor and delivery makes me so wish that God would give us a little giggle... or perhaps a belly laugh. It makes my uterus ache for more. It makes me want another babe.
Of course, if it were to really come to that, I'm pretty sure I would not be a very good mom. I would not be so nice. I would not be so patient. I would not be so fun. I'm pretty sure, that if we were to have another, that my room of choice would be one with padded and soundproof walls. That my food would be served to me through a little slot in the door. I'm pretty sure that I would absolutely lose it...
But, holy cow, walking through those halls sure makes me get a little ache. Watching the miracle of a baby being born, sure makes me ache. I wonder if that ever goes away...
Fact of the matter is, that it's not really another baby that I want. While I do so enjoy my babies being babies, I think that what I really love about the whole pregnancy and delivery is the fact that it is such a miracle. What I love is that God made our bodies... a woman's body to do such an amazing thing. I'm so thankful to be created for such an amazing miracle.
To carry a baby in your belly. To feel it kick. Twirl. Flutter. Hiccup. To watch as your belly expands. As your baby expands. To feel your body as it prepares for the birth. To experience labor. The pains. The joy. The miracle.
To watch a labor is amazing. To watch as Mom works through the pain. To watch as Mom holds her sweet babe for the first time. When she gets to gaze upon the miracle that God has blessed her with. To watch as Dad sees his babe. As he looks lovingly at his wife. Moments that, once again, no camera could do justice. Moments that you wish you could bottle. Moments that you pray you can hold onto so that one day, when your sweet babe is all grown and giving you grief, you could open up and just bask in the joy of that moment.
I'm so thankful to have been there. To have witnessed God's love for us. To have been there for such a miracle. To have been reminded of my own baby's births. The nurses. The family and friends who were there. The pain. The joy. The miracle. I'm so thankful to have friends that have invited me in to such special moments. It is something I will never take for granted. That I will always cherish. That I will always remember.
Welcome to the world sweet Landon!
This is the 3rd time I've seen a baby be born. It has yet to get old. I can't imagine that it ever will. How could it?
When my friend texted me this week inviting me, I was sure she had sent the text to the wrong person. Really? I was overjoyed. Elated. It was just what I needed. To witness one of God's greatest miracles.
As my friend and I walked to lunch, I told her how walking through labor and delivery makes me so wish that God would give us a little giggle... or perhaps a belly laugh. It makes my uterus ache for more. It makes me want another babe.
Of course, if it were to really come to that, I'm pretty sure I would not be a very good mom. I would not be so nice. I would not be so patient. I would not be so fun. I'm pretty sure, that if we were to have another, that my room of choice would be one with padded and soundproof walls. That my food would be served to me through a little slot in the door. I'm pretty sure that I would absolutely lose it...
But, holy cow, walking through those halls sure makes me get a little ache. Watching the miracle of a baby being born, sure makes me ache. I wonder if that ever goes away...
Fact of the matter is, that it's not really another baby that I want. While I do so enjoy my babies being babies, I think that what I really love about the whole pregnancy and delivery is the fact that it is such a miracle. What I love is that God made our bodies... a woman's body to do such an amazing thing. I'm so thankful to be created for such an amazing miracle.
To carry a baby in your belly. To feel it kick. Twirl. Flutter. Hiccup. To watch as your belly expands. As your baby expands. To feel your body as it prepares for the birth. To experience labor. The pains. The joy. The miracle.
To watch a labor is amazing. To watch as Mom works through the pain. To watch as Mom holds her sweet babe for the first time. When she gets to gaze upon the miracle that God has blessed her with. To watch as Dad sees his babe. As he looks lovingly at his wife. Moments that, once again, no camera could do justice. Moments that you wish you could bottle. Moments that you pray you can hold onto so that one day, when your sweet babe is all grown and giving you grief, you could open up and just bask in the joy of that moment.
I'm so thankful to have been there. To have witnessed God's love for us. To have been there for such a miracle. To have been reminded of my own baby's births. The nurses. The family and friends who were there. The pain. The joy. The miracle. I'm so thankful to have friends that have invited me in to such special moments. It is something I will never take for granted. That I will always cherish. That I will always remember.
Welcome to the world sweet Landon!
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you."
Psalm 139:13-18
Psalm 139:13-18
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Top 3
Cory and I were talking on Friday night. Talking about how we really need to be purposeful. We aren't that great at it... My fear? That if we do not start being more purposeful, these times are going to pass us by. We are going to regret. We are going to miss out. Life is so crazy busy and I often feel like we are just surviving. I don't want to just survive. I want to thrive. I want to enjoy. God has blessed us so much. He has trusted us with these sweet children. How wasteful to just let this time pass...
We sat down with the kids Saturday night and asked them what their top 3 would be. If they could choose 3 things to do together as a family, over the summer, what would those 3 things be. We didn't even put any limitations. The only rule? We had to be able to do it as a family.
We then voted. We got to choose our number 1 from each person's list. Here is our list of our top 3
We're already set to go camping this summer, so we took that out of the running. We're also hoping to get to Mt. St. Helens this summer. I'm so excited for the summer. I'm so excited for time with my family. I'm so excited to get out there and enjoy. To soak it all in. I'm so thankful that we get to.
I loved putting this list together. I loved seeing where the kids are at. What their priorities are... seriously. Snuggling? Playing games together? A picnic? Blowing bubbles? Those sweet babies. So simple. So sweet. Little things they enjoy.
So often, we think so much bigger than our children. We don't think that the little things matter all that much. Apparently, they do. Apparently, it's the little things that matter A LOT to my kids. I'll be making sure to do the little things more often. To life the full life God intended...
We sat down with the kids Saturday night and asked them what their top 3 would be. If they could choose 3 things to do together as a family, over the summer, what would those 3 things be. We didn't even put any limitations. The only rule? We had to be able to do it as a family.
Ella: Dancing with Daddy
Go out to pizza
Blow bubbles
Jackson: Snuggle together
Play games together
Go on a picnic
Caden: Camping
Bowling
Swimming
Cole: Disneyland
Go to a movie
Spokane/go to Lake Coeur d'Alene
Dad: Beach
Dance with Ella (Ella chimed that in)
Camping
Mom: Zoo
Day trip to a local waterfall
Spokane
Go out to pizza
Blow bubbles
Jackson: Snuggle together
Play games together
Go on a picnic
Caden: Camping
Bowling
Swimming
Cole: Disneyland
Go to a movie
Spokane/go to Lake Coeur d'Alene
Dad: Beach
Dance with Ella (Ella chimed that in)
Camping
Mom: Zoo
Day trip to a local waterfall
Spokane
We then voted. We got to choose our number 1 from each person's list. Here is our list of our top 3
The zoo
Spokane
Day trip to the local waterfall
The beach
Bowling
A picnic
Spokane
Day trip to the local waterfall
The beach
Bowling
A picnic
We're already set to go camping this summer, so we took that out of the running. We're also hoping to get to Mt. St. Helens this summer. I'm so excited for the summer. I'm so excited for time with my family. I'm so excited to get out there and enjoy. To soak it all in. I'm so thankful that we get to.
I loved putting this list together. I loved seeing where the kids are at. What their priorities are... seriously. Snuggling? Playing games together? A picnic? Blowing bubbles? Those sweet babies. So simple. So sweet. Little things they enjoy.
So often, we think so much bigger than our children. We don't think that the little things matter all that much. Apparently, they do. Apparently, it's the little things that matter A LOT to my kids. I'll be making sure to do the little things more often. To life the full life God intended...
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."
John 10:10
John 10:10
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Continue To Pray
Here's the latest update from our friends. Please keep them all in your prayers...
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/lukejensen
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/lukejensen
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Pray For Luke
Have you ever had a friend that made you better? Better at being a mom? Better at being a wife? Better at being a friend? Better at walking with God? Have you ever had a friend that has walked with you through more trials than you care to count? That has sat by your side. That has told you it's okay to be angry... for a time. That has reminded you over and over of God's love and faithfulness. That has told you over and over again how much God's cares... even about the little stuff. Have you ever felt like you wish you could do more? Have you ever felt helpless? Have you ever wanted to jump through the phone just so you could hug your friend?I was hoping today would be a day of good news. My brother met with his oncologist to hear the results of his scan. We were still waiting on news for our friends son. I got a message from my sister in law this afternoon that everything came back good for my brother... now I was just waiting for Luke's news.
The phone rang a little bit ago. It was my friend. My dear friend. My cherished friend. Luke and our friends are in for another fight. He has more abnormal cells and they are going to be meeting with the Dr. tomorrow to discuss treatment.
Luke is an amazing little boy. Of course, how can he not be? His parents are amazing. They love God with all their hearts. They love their friends. They are loved by so many. They are a blessing.
When Luke was first diagnosed with Leukemia his prayer was that 500 people would be praying for him. Without a doubt, that goal was achieved... Would you join me in praying? There's even a little button in my side bar you can take with you...
Luke's parents, Steve and Vikki, shared this on his caring bridge site. I wanted to share it here too. It's one of his assignments he just did for school...
Hi. My name is Luke, and my life so far has been an adventure.
I was born November 28, 2000 -- that makes me 8 ¼ years old. I was born in Vancouver, but we moved to our home in Battle Ground when I was 5 years old. My brother Jake is my best friend. I also have a little sister named Tori. My dad is the principal of the middle school and the high school at King’s Way. My mom is the best mom in the world (at least to me). We go to Hockinson Community Church, where my Papa is the pastor and my cousins are there.
Last year, I had leukemia. Leukemia is a kind of cancer that goes in your blood. I had to spend most of my 1st grade living at Doernbecher Children’s Hospital. Even though I was sick, I had fun there. They had video games and a playroom. They even had a fridge where our family could put our food.
I got a Wii when we were there, and we hooked it up to the TV in my room. We played it for a long time. My family called me the “Spare King” on the Wii bowling game. I played Wii baseball against one of the doctors. There was a nurse’s assistant named Kathy who used to tickle me. I would tease her by taking pictures of her. People sure do a good job at Doernbecher!
When I was at Doernbecher, I met a kid named Austin who had the same leukemia as me. Austin and my brother Jake and I became good friends. We would have a ton of Nerf gun fights in the hallways at night. Austin did not make it through cancer. At least he is with God right now!
Last summer my family and I got to go to a place called the Caring Cabin. The Caring Cabin was a cool place next to a little lake, and close to the beach. I had a blast, and so did my cousins! After that I got to do a “Make A Wish.” I chose to go to San Diego. When we were in San Diego, we got to go swimming at the hotel. We went to Lego Land, Sea World, and (last but not least) the San Diego Zoo. It was an awesome summer! I can’t wait until this summer.
I’m glad God made me. He is very important to me. There would be no love without God. I know that Jesus died on the cross to take away my sins because He loved me so much. When I was sick with leukemia, I wouldn’t have made it without God. It wasn’t just the medicine; it was God. He has plenty more plans for me!
Luke
This is Luke's favorite verse...
Fearful Caden
What a perfect weekend we had. Absolutely perfect! I went into it wanting to savor every moment. Knowing that it was our last weekend with just our family until May. Yes. May. And yes. I do know that it is only March.I had the incredible pleasure of getting a date with Caden on Saturday. He had come home at the beginning of the month. Tore open his backpack. And pulled out a piece of paper that talked about a Mother/Son activity that was to be at his school on the 21st. Caden doesn't get excited about much so I knew that this was important to him. We would make sure it happened.
He counted down to it all last week. And me, being the wonderful mom that I am, always pretended that I had no clue what he was talking about...
We left with plenty of time to run to Target before the big event. It was so much fun. Yes, fun. Being able to peruse the aisles with just my sweet Caden. Holding his hand as we walked in and out of the store. I savored every minute.
When we arrived at the school, I had no idea what to expect. They had dubbed the event as "Fear Factor" fun. We walked in, gave them our names, Caden was handed a t-shirt and I, a rubberband... uh oh. I had just washed my hair!
Our first event? To pick our poison. We got to pick from 3 "juices". We picked the most innocent sounding "poison" and hammered it down... juice of some kind, corn, green beans and who knows what else was all mixed together. Tasty.
We then moved on the the pudding feed. I had to wear a sleep mask and feed Caden chocolate pudding while blindfolded... all while racing other mom's and trying to get done first. We laughed the whole way through as I got awfully close to putting it up his nose. Several times.
Next up was "doggy doody". Not sure of all the ingredients and blaming my lack of participation on my wheat allergy, I got to sit back and enjoy. Caden had to fish tootsie rolls out of some chocolate pudding concoction with his mouth. What a riot!
From there, we went to watch the reptile show. It was fascinating and frightening all at the same time. We met...Joanna the iguana...
A barking chameleon... Did you know they barked??
A king cobra...
An African Gaboon Viper... Seriously.
And a slew of other characters. After we had sufficiently peed our pants, we moved on to tamer activities.
BINGO!
And since neither of us won anything, we made silly faces and moved on...
We then got to race to dig the gummy worm out and eaten... I won!
After eating the tasty gummy worm, we then got to dig through the REAL worms to find a fake one. Thankfully, we got to use our hands on this one... NOT our teeth!
Our final activity was the football obstacle course. It was a bit rainy. A lot muddy. And I was wearing my brown boots. Not so conducive to running in mud. What's a mom to do?? Strip of her shoes and socks, roll her pants up and have at it. Yum. Loved the mud squishing between my toes.
Every single second of it was fun. Every single second was cherished. He was glowing. I was glowing. What a gift. We really have to do that more often!
Caden had his choir concert on Thursday night and while he didn't look so thrilled when he was up on the bleachers, he did say he enjoyed it. He asked me on Saturday what my favorite song was. It just so happened, that when I told him, his face lit up. It was his favorite too. Here he is singing it for me...
What a blessing this boy is. An absolute blessing. He melts my heart. He makes me smile. He still lets me hold his hand... Praising the Lord for him. Praising the Lord for dates with my baby. Praising the Lord for the little things. Love you Lord!
Monday, March 23, 2009
Please Pray
Lots of prayers to be said right now...
My brother had a scan on Friday to make sure the cancer is still gone. Waiting on those results...
My nephew, Jonas, had a scan on Friday to make sure he's okay. Waiting on those results...
*****Just got off the phone with Traci and Jonas's results came back perfect! Everything looks great! Praise the Lord!*****
Our dear friends son had a bone marrow biopsy on Thursday to make sure the leukemia is still gone. Waiting on those results...
My sister in law has not been feeling well. Praying for her healing. Waiting...
MckMama's Stellan is in the hospital. Waiting...
Getting on my knees now. Will you join me?
My brother had a scan on Friday to make sure the cancer is still gone. Waiting on those results...
My nephew, Jonas, had a scan on Friday to make sure he's okay. Waiting on those results...
*****Just got off the phone with Traci and Jonas's results came back perfect! Everything looks great! Praise the Lord!*****
Our dear friends son had a bone marrow biopsy on Thursday to make sure the leukemia is still gone. Waiting on those results...
My sister in law has not been feeling well. Praying for her healing. Waiting...
MckMama's Stellan is in the hospital. Waiting...
Getting on my knees now. Will you join me?
Friday, March 20, 2009
The Bottle
Do you ever have moments you wish you could just bottle up? Moments you wish you could catch on camera? Moments that could never be brought justice by a camera?
Ella and Brenton have started crawling into bed with us on Saturday and Sunday mornings. One. Then the other. Brenton climbs up. Gets as close as he can and settles on in. Ella climbs up. Takes her place in the center. There we are. Snug as bugs in a rug. Eventually, tickles ensue. Laughter begins. Brenton hides from monsters under the sheets. I love every second. I know a camera would never catch what this really means. I know that time will pass. I know that someday my babies will be done with weekend morning snuggles. With tickles. With monsters. I know because I only have 2 left of the 5...
I was playing with Brenton this morning and he came around the corner. His face. His look. It took my breath away. Such sweetness. Such a baby. Such a big boy.
It's been a busy week. Good busy. But busy nonetheless. I went to bed last night looking forward to today. Looking forward to time with my babies. I've missed them this week. We watched a movie. We all snuggled on the couch. Jack on one side. Ella on the other. Brent on my lap. It was perfection.
Such a role. This role as Mom. Moving from Ref to snuggler in a moments notice. Moving from friend to foe. Balancing life. Praising the Lord for shining lights on these moments. Praying that they'll stick in my memory forever. Praying that I continue to cherish these amazing moments.
____________________________________________________________________
Just in from Ella...
"We need a doctor!!!!"
"Why?"
"Jackson's dead!"
"Well, if he's already dead, why do you need a doctor?"
"We just need a doctor..." Off she goes to revive her brother!
____________________________________________________________________
Praising the Lord for smiles and snuggles. For laughter. For not having to be Ref ALL the time. For brothers playing nicely with their sisters. For getting to see a bit of the fruit. Thank you Jesus!
Summer 2006 playing pirates in the backyard...
On the beach Puerto Vallarta 2008
Sweet Brenton February 2007
Ella and Brenton have started crawling into bed with us on Saturday and Sunday mornings. One. Then the other. Brenton climbs up. Gets as close as he can and settles on in. Ella climbs up. Takes her place in the center. There we are. Snug as bugs in a rug. Eventually, tickles ensue. Laughter begins. Brenton hides from monsters under the sheets. I love every second. I know a camera would never catch what this really means. I know that time will pass. I know that someday my babies will be done with weekend morning snuggles. With tickles. With monsters. I know because I only have 2 left of the 5...
I was playing with Brenton this morning and he came around the corner. His face. His look. It took my breath away. Such sweetness. Such a baby. Such a big boy.
It's been a busy week. Good busy. But busy nonetheless. I went to bed last night looking forward to today. Looking forward to time with my babies. I've missed them this week. We watched a movie. We all snuggled on the couch. Jack on one side. Ella on the other. Brent on my lap. It was perfection.
Such a role. This role as Mom. Moving from Ref to snuggler in a moments notice. Moving from friend to foe. Balancing life. Praising the Lord for shining lights on these moments. Praying that they'll stick in my memory forever. Praying that I continue to cherish these amazing moments.
____________________________________________________________________
Just in from Ella...
"We need a doctor!!!!"
"Why?"
"Jackson's dead!"
"Well, if he's already dead, why do you need a doctor?"
"We just need a doctor..." Off she goes to revive her brother!
____________________________________________________________________
Praising the Lord for smiles and snuggles. For laughter. For not having to be Ref ALL the time. For brothers playing nicely with their sisters. For getting to see a bit of the fruit. Thank you Jesus!
Summer 2006 playing pirates in the backyard...
On the beach Puerto Vallarta 2008
Sweet Brenton February 2007Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Sweet Kids, Sweet Jesus
We were getting ready to put Ella in bed last night when she looked up at me and said,
"Do you want to know what I was doing over the heater this morning?" (Our kids love to sit on the heater vents to warm up in the morning)
Me: "What were you doing?"
Ella: "I was going like this?" Opening her mouth wide and putting it really close to the ground.
Me: "Why were you doing that?"
Ella: "To make Jesus warm."
Me: "Oh, but is Jesus in your heart? We haven't prayed that yet..."
Ella: "I prayed by myself to have him in my heart."
Me: "Well, that's really something that Mommy and Daddy would like to do with you. We can do that tonight..." I call Cory in. He finishes getting her ready for bed and I leave to pray with the boys so that we can both be with Ella as she asks Jesus into her heart. As I walk back into her room, Cory says,
"Would you like to know why she would like Jesus in her heart?"
Me: "Why??"
Cory: "So she can have juice and bread with us at church."
Nice.
She's been asking lots of questions lately. Talking about wanting to have Jesus in her heart. I've asked her questions. She's asked me questions. It's always so amazing to watch their little minds as they try to understand it all.
Caden first started asking questions in January of 2007. Lots of questions. We were talking one night before bed and talking about how when you have Jesus in your heart you get to go to Heaven. His chin started quivering. His eyes got really sad. He said, "but then I'll miss my Molly dog." Molly is his most special stuffed animal. His Papa and Grandma gave it to him when he was a baby. He sleeps with her every night. In his sweet head, he was so worried that he would go straight to Heaven once Jesus was in his heart. I explained that that was not the way it worked. That only God knows when our days will end. That you will only go to Heaven when God is ready for you to go. In February 2007, Caden asked Jesus into his heart. It was such a special moment for Cory and I as we both prayed with him.
He, of course, wanted to share this moment with his brother. In May 2007 Caden and Jackson came to us saying that Jackson also wanted Jesus in his heart. We asked him questions, trying to determine if he really knew what was going on. He knew the answers... He would get to go to Heaven with Jesus in his heart. But, do you want to know what his real motivator was?? In sharing about Jesus, Caden had also shared what would happen if you didn't have Jesus in your heart when you died... Jackson did NOT want to go to hell. So, 3 months after his brother asked Jesus into his heart, Jackson prayed the same prayer. Again, so amazing. Such a blessing. Thank you Jesus.
Jackson loves to talk about Jesus. He loves to ask if so and so has Jesus in their hearts. For Halloween, this year, he wanted to go house to house and ask if the homeowners had Jesus in their heart. He wants the world to know about Jesus. He loves to sing songs about Jesus. His favorite?
Our God is an awesome God,
He reigns from Heaven above,
With wisdom, power and love,
Our God is an awesome God.
I love to hear him sing this. Loud and strong.
Last summer we received a phone call. Cole was away at the middle school camp and was asking if it was okay if he got baptized. We made some calls, dropped the boys off at a friends and made the long drive to the Seattle area. So amazing. So thankful. So awesome.
I had already decided to get baptized the following Sunday at church. I had been baptized as a baby and always wondered if I should get baptized again. I did some research and came to the conclusion that yes, I should. That being baptized was an outward sign of your faith. That being baptized was a way to declare to the world that you follow Jesus. That being baptized as a baby does not allow for any of that. I obviously, did not have Jesus in my heart when I was a baby. I obviously, could not make the decision to be baptized. The answer was clear...
With Cole and I getting baptized within days of each other, Caden was asking lots of questions. What is baptism? Why do you do it? Do I need to be baptized? Can I be baptized? We sat down and had a great talk. He seemed to truly understand all that I was saying. He really wanted to be baptized on Sunday too. So, we did it. One right after the other. So amazing. So thankful. So awesome. Words cannot begin to describe the way my heart felt as I heard Cory read our testimonies. Words cannot describe the way my heart felt as Caden was immersed. My heart was full. Full of love. Full of thankfulness. Full of God.
I am so thankful. Thankful that 3 of my children have made the conscious decision to follow Christ. That I have been there to pray with 2 of them as they have made that choice. That it seems as though their sister isn't far behind. I'm thankful that God cares for each of them. That he cares about their souls. Their hearts. Their minds. Their eternity. I'm thankful that I have a husband that has a heart for God. I'm thankful these memories are so vivid in my mind. I'm especially thankful for them on the days where my children are crabby. Where I am crabby. When I can just get these sweet reminders of my sweet kids and my sweet sweet Jesus.
"Do you want to know what I was doing over the heater this morning?" (Our kids love to sit on the heater vents to warm up in the morning)
Me: "What were you doing?"
Ella: "I was going like this?" Opening her mouth wide and putting it really close to the ground.
Me: "Why were you doing that?"
Ella: "To make Jesus warm."
Me: "Oh, but is Jesus in your heart? We haven't prayed that yet..."
Ella: "I prayed by myself to have him in my heart."
Me: "Well, that's really something that Mommy and Daddy would like to do with you. We can do that tonight..." I call Cory in. He finishes getting her ready for bed and I leave to pray with the boys so that we can both be with Ella as she asks Jesus into her heart. As I walk back into her room, Cory says,
"Would you like to know why she would like Jesus in her heart?"
Me: "Why??"
Cory: "So she can have juice and bread with us at church."
Nice.
She's been asking lots of questions lately. Talking about wanting to have Jesus in her heart. I've asked her questions. She's asked me questions. It's always so amazing to watch their little minds as they try to understand it all.
Caden first started asking questions in January of 2007. Lots of questions. We were talking one night before bed and talking about how when you have Jesus in your heart you get to go to Heaven. His chin started quivering. His eyes got really sad. He said, "but then I'll miss my Molly dog." Molly is his most special stuffed animal. His Papa and Grandma gave it to him when he was a baby. He sleeps with her every night. In his sweet head, he was so worried that he would go straight to Heaven once Jesus was in his heart. I explained that that was not the way it worked. That only God knows when our days will end. That you will only go to Heaven when God is ready for you to go. In February 2007, Caden asked Jesus into his heart. It was such a special moment for Cory and I as we both prayed with him.
He, of course, wanted to share this moment with his brother. In May 2007 Caden and Jackson came to us saying that Jackson also wanted Jesus in his heart. We asked him questions, trying to determine if he really knew what was going on. He knew the answers... He would get to go to Heaven with Jesus in his heart. But, do you want to know what his real motivator was?? In sharing about Jesus, Caden had also shared what would happen if you didn't have Jesus in your heart when you died... Jackson did NOT want to go to hell. So, 3 months after his brother asked Jesus into his heart, Jackson prayed the same prayer. Again, so amazing. Such a blessing. Thank you Jesus.
Jackson loves to talk about Jesus. He loves to ask if so and so has Jesus in their hearts. For Halloween, this year, he wanted to go house to house and ask if the homeowners had Jesus in their heart. He wants the world to know about Jesus. He loves to sing songs about Jesus. His favorite?
Our God is an awesome God,
He reigns from Heaven above,
With wisdom, power and love,
Our God is an awesome God.
I love to hear him sing this. Loud and strong.
Last summer we received a phone call. Cole was away at the middle school camp and was asking if it was okay if he got baptized. We made some calls, dropped the boys off at a friends and made the long drive to the Seattle area. So amazing. So thankful. So awesome.
I had already decided to get baptized the following Sunday at church. I had been baptized as a baby and always wondered if I should get baptized again. I did some research and came to the conclusion that yes, I should. That being baptized was an outward sign of your faith. That being baptized was a way to declare to the world that you follow Jesus. That being baptized as a baby does not allow for any of that. I obviously, did not have Jesus in my heart when I was a baby. I obviously, could not make the decision to be baptized. The answer was clear...
With Cole and I getting baptized within days of each other, Caden was asking lots of questions. What is baptism? Why do you do it? Do I need to be baptized? Can I be baptized? We sat down and had a great talk. He seemed to truly understand all that I was saying. He really wanted to be baptized on Sunday too. So, we did it. One right after the other. So amazing. So thankful. So awesome. Words cannot begin to describe the way my heart felt as I heard Cory read our testimonies. Words cannot describe the way my heart felt as Caden was immersed. My heart was full. Full of love. Full of thankfulness. Full of God.
I am so thankful. Thankful that 3 of my children have made the conscious decision to follow Christ. That I have been there to pray with 2 of them as they have made that choice. That it seems as though their sister isn't far behind. I'm thankful that God cares for each of them. That he cares about their souls. Their hearts. Their minds. Their eternity. I'm thankful that I have a husband that has a heart for God. I'm thankful these memories are so vivid in my mind. I'm especially thankful for them on the days where my children are crabby. Where I am crabby. When I can just get these sweet reminders of my sweet kids and my sweet sweet Jesus.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
1995
It was my senior year. I was sitting in physics class. My friend and I started talking about God. I was a believer. He was not. After 2 days of conversation it came down to this question...
"So what you're saying is, that if I'm a good person, that if I don't believe in God and I don't have Jesus in my heart, that I'm going to hell?"
"Yes."
"I don't want to talk about it anymore."
"Yes."
"I don't want to talk about it anymore."
I can remember our conversation clear as day. I was just a baby in my faith. My heart was pounding as I said yes. After the fact, I wondered why it even mattered to him. If he didn't believe in God, how could he believe in Heaven or hell? If he didn't believe in God, why would he want to be where God is?
That conversation, that rejection has shaped who I am. It has made me so fearful to step out. I've lived my life hoping that people would see God in my life. That His love and faithfulness would shine through. It's not that I don't talk about God and my faith... I just don't step out and try to lead them to Him.
As I spent the day, yesterday, praying for my friend and her friend, I started thinking about my faith. If I had to explain to someone why I believe what I believe, could I? If I had to break it down to the basics, could I? If I were in a position to lead someone to Christ, could I? And really, what am I afraid of?
Are my fears of rejection worse that my friends spending an eternity in hell? What do I have to lose? What do they?
Even to the biggest skeptics who would argue that God is made up. Who wonder how we can believe what we do. I'm left wondering, even if it were all made up. What do you have to lose??
I know without a shadow of a doubt that there is a God. I know without a shadow of a doubt that God loves me. I know without a shadow of a doubt that He created each of us. I know without a shadow of a doubt that He sent His son. To die. For our sins. That He loved us THAT much. I know without a shadow of a doubt that because I have asked Jesus to be my personal Lord and Savior that I will spend eternity in Heaven. I know that God has carried me more times than I can count. I know that I would never have made it through the last 3 years of constant trials without Him. I have seen miracles. I have heard God. He has spoken to me. He has shown me things. He has given me His word. The last 3 years have proven, without a shadow of a doubt, that God is HERE. There is no other explanation. He is HERE.
Even as I type this I wonder. Do I really publish this?? Do I really put it all out there?? God's answer is, "yes". Yes. I cannot allow myself to be stuck in an 18 year old mentality. I cannot allow the enemy to win that battle. So here I am. Putting it out there. If you want to talk to me about it, leave me your email and I'd love to chat.
That conversation, that rejection has shaped who I am. It has made me so fearful to step out. I've lived my life hoping that people would see God in my life. That His love and faithfulness would shine through. It's not that I don't talk about God and my faith... I just don't step out and try to lead them to Him.
As I spent the day, yesterday, praying for my friend and her friend, I started thinking about my faith. If I had to explain to someone why I believe what I believe, could I? If I had to break it down to the basics, could I? If I were in a position to lead someone to Christ, could I? And really, what am I afraid of?
Are my fears of rejection worse that my friends spending an eternity in hell? What do I have to lose? What do they?
Even to the biggest skeptics who would argue that God is made up. Who wonder how we can believe what we do. I'm left wondering, even if it were all made up. What do you have to lose??
I know without a shadow of a doubt that there is a God. I know without a shadow of a doubt that God loves me. I know without a shadow of a doubt that He created each of us. I know without a shadow of a doubt that He sent His son. To die. For our sins. That He loved us THAT much. I know without a shadow of a doubt that because I have asked Jesus to be my personal Lord and Savior that I will spend eternity in Heaven. I know that God has carried me more times than I can count. I know that I would never have made it through the last 3 years of constant trials without Him. I have seen miracles. I have heard God. He has spoken to me. He has shown me things. He has given me His word. The last 3 years have proven, without a shadow of a doubt, that God is HERE. There is no other explanation. He is HERE.
Even as I type this I wonder. Do I really publish this?? Do I really put it all out there?? God's answer is, "yes". Yes. I cannot allow myself to be stuck in an 18 year old mentality. I cannot allow the enemy to win that battle. So here I am. Putting it out there. If you want to talk to me about it, leave me your email and I'd love to chat.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
God's Armor
"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints - and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak."
Ephesians 6:10-20
Ephesians 6:10-20
I read these verses this morning. Over. And over. And over again.
WOW!!!
How powerful. How awesome. How beautiful.
The image alone fills me with peace. With strength. With hope. With passion.
It is awe inspiring.
As I continued to pour over these verses, God gave me an image of my friend.
My friend, who at 5:00 tonight, is sitting down with her friend.
Who is not a believer.
Who has trusted my friend enough to ask many many questions.
Who does not believe that anyone can answer her questions.
Who does not believe.
I felt like God wanted her to hear this verse.
I called her immediately.
I read her God's words.
God's powerful, mighty and awesome words.
I have spent the day with that image in my head.
Praying for her protection against the enemy's evil ways.
Praying for protection for her family.
Praying that the Holy Spirit would pour out of her.
Praying that she would be covered in the armor of God.
I get tears thinking about God's power.
God is mighty to save.
I pray for my friend's friend.
For her ears to hear.
For her eyes to see.
For her to feel God.
For her to believe.
If you would, would you pray too?
There is a battle going on tonight.
I know that God can reign victorious.
I pray for this victory.
WOW!!!
How powerful. How awesome. How beautiful.
The image alone fills me with peace. With strength. With hope. With passion.
It is awe inspiring.
As I continued to pour over these verses, God gave me an image of my friend.
My friend, who at 5:00 tonight, is sitting down with her friend.
Who is not a believer.
Who has trusted my friend enough to ask many many questions.
Who does not believe that anyone can answer her questions.
Who does not believe.
I felt like God wanted her to hear this verse.
I called her immediately.
I read her God's words.
God's powerful, mighty and awesome words.
I have spent the day with that image in my head.
Praying for her protection against the enemy's evil ways.
Praying for protection for her family.
Praying that the Holy Spirit would pour out of her.
Praying that she would be covered in the armor of God.
I get tears thinking about God's power.
God is mighty to save.
I pray for my friend's friend.
For her ears to hear.
For her eyes to see.
For her to feel God.
For her to believe.
If you would, would you pray too?
There is a battle going on tonight.
I know that God can reign victorious.
I pray for this victory.
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