Glimpses

I'm so thankful for glimpses. Moments where we get to see God. Moments where we are reminded that God is here. He cares. He loves us. Moments that we can say without a doubt that we are so glad that things did not turn out the way we wanted them to. I'm so thankful that I've had lots of glimpses throughout the years. These moments comfort me and give me so much peace. I've had several moments lately where I just sit back and smile at the wonder of God.

When my brother was diagnosed with cancer I felt my body go empty. I was a shell. I had nothing to give. I felt nothing but sorrow. Emptiness. Zero compassion. For a girl who has always had such a heart for others and had always had so much hope, I felt nothing. I had no idea how I would ever get "me" back. The amazing thing. I didn't have to do anything but pray. It was not in my power. I could not fix myself. Thankfully, so many wonderful friends were praying and I woke up one morning and knew that God had filled me. I no longer felt empty. I was hopeful. I was me. There is no other explanation. God took my pain. God loves me.

We've been trying to sell our house. When we listed it, our parents also listed their house in Spokane. We were praying that our houses would sell quickly and we could buy some property together and be neighbors. Our kids would have their grandparents right there. We would have the support we so desire. It was a perfect plan. How could God not bless us with this? It was perfect! I'm so thankful our prayers were not answered. I hold this so dear. If our prayers had been answered my parents would be here. Not in Spokane. Not close to my brother and his wonderful family. Not able to go to all the Dr.'s appointments with my brother. Not able to go visit with my brother during his treatments. They would be here. Six hours from my brother. What a wonderful glimpse.

The thing is, we don't know what our entire book looks like. Only God knows. He knows what is best for us. We have no clue. We might think we know and thankfully God gives us these moments where we get to see that He truly wants to give us His best.

Thank you God for reminding us of your presence and everlasting love. Thank you for showing us your mercy and for tolerating our fits. Thank you for wanting to wrestle with us. Thank you for wrapping us up in your arms. Thank you for carrying us when we can no longer stand. Thank you for giving us joy. I love you Lord.