My Girl

I haven't blogged here in such a long time and as each day goes by, it becomes harder and harder to come back. I took a break when I felt like I had nothing to share that hadn't been shared. I took a break when, to be honest, it overwhelmed me to even try to think of something. Instead, I've been writing about my running journey here.

But, there have been moments where I've wanted to come back. And didn't. Where it just felt odd to just start back in again as if I'd never stopped.

And yet, I can't let this one go by. This blog, after all, is for me. For my family. About me. About my family. And I have to remember my girl as she is now...

Ella turned 6 on February 17th. Six!

Her birthday began with her coming into my room while I was getting dressed. She took one look at me and said, "Mama, you look beautiful!" You see, my girl gets excited when I dress up and as she walked in, I was finishing curling my hair. My make-up was on. And I was out of my sweats. With big bright eyes she asked if I would wear lipstick and my pretty earrings from Daddy too! Of course, sweet girl. Of course!

The rest of the day was spent picking up her friend, shopping for the prettiest dress we could find (her Nana's present to her), surprising her with getting her ears pierced, going to a movie with friends, and have her requested pancakes for dinner.

Six!

I spent the day watching her, smiling at her, staring and being so thankful that God had blessed our family with her.

She can drive me nuts with her drama. Her screaming. Her shrieking. Her room is a constant battle to keep clean. She actually cares about what she wears and we already have disagreements on outfit and hair choices. However...

Her heart is huge. She loves like no other. She glows when she gets time with me. She loves to play with my hair. She hugs. She comforts. She scratches backs. She nurtures. She amazes me.

She had her kindergarten concert last night and wonderfully enough, our seats happened to be many rows back but straight in front of her. Through the first song, I could see that she was searching for us. Singing, but clearly distracted. Then, it happened. Our eyes met, she lit up, she grinned from ear to ear. And so did I.

We stayed that way for most of the concert. My own private concert with my sweet little girl. As I watched her, my eyes filled with tears, my heart overflowed, and I thought of all our precious time together. Of painting nails, reading books, playing dolls and brushing hair. I thought of conversations had and conversations yet to come. I thought of how she was our surprise gift from God. I thought about how blessed I am.

Last week she told me I was her best friend and while I know that the years are not going to be easy, I pray that I will always be that. That she will always know I am here for her to listen, to talk, to play, to love.

I've cherished the days this year. While she's in kindergarten, she is still not gone everyday. I LOVE the days when she is home. I thank the Lord for the transition for both of us, that it's slow. That we get to build up to it. I know next year I will miss her. Miss her when she's not here everyday to chat my ear off. Miss her when she's not here to beg me to play Barbies while I fold laundry. Miss her when she wants me to read to her while I cook dinner.

Thank you Lord for my girl. My princess. Thank you for her heart and how she loves others. Thank you for moments when I can take a deep breath and realize that with the chaos comes so many blessings. Thank you!