I was in doing the dishes last night and heard a sweet voice from behind...
"Mom, I can't go to sleep."
It was 10:15.
My sweet boy. My sweet bug who is known to fall asleep like his father - in seconds. My Caden.
Just the night before he had come out about 20 minutes after we had put him to bed. He was sobbing. He missed his Papa. He came over. Snuggled and sobbed. With every ounce of strength, wanting to only hold him closer, I sent him over to his Daddy. I knew Daddy was missing Papa too. Together, they snuggled and talked.
Talked about Papa. Talked about Nana Pam. Talked about how wonderful they were and how Nana Pam would have been an amazing Nana. He finally settled down and in his sweet little voice said, "can you show me a picture of your Mom tomorrow?"
I can't help but think that my sweet boy was still having deep thoughts last night too. When I asked what was going on in his sweet head, he said he didn't know...
We walked into the family room and as we lay on the couch he melted right into me. Curled in a ball. I was left remembering snuggling in the same way when he was a baby... Only then, his knees weren't jabbing my hips. His elbows, not in my side. Yet, there we were, a perfect fit. Completely comfortable. Knees, elbows and all.
I marvelled at how quickly he has grown. I could almost smell the sweetness of his baby head. I could remember how it felt to have him resting in the crook of my arm. And as I wondered if we were creating a terrible habit, I couldn't help but savor a moment that has become fewer and farther between.
As I stroked his sweet face, trying to get him to relax and sleep, I sang the song I sang a million times when he was a baby. The song that would calm him in the car. That would help his cries cease on the changing table. That would lull him to sleep...
Mr. Caden, Mr. Caden Scott,
Do you know that I love you a lot?
Mr. Caden, Mr. Beautiful Man,
Oh, Mr. Caden do you know how happy I am?
He fell asleep within minutes and as I carried him off to bed, I thanked the Lord for such an amazing gift.
6 comments:
Well, I've definitely got the waterworks going now! ;-) This is such a touching post...it brings back memories of when my two boys were little.
Cherish every moment of snuggle time with your children. They grow up way too fast!
Blessings,
Beth
What a beautiful moment you both had. We are really going to miss those someday. Its so easy to just get mad and send them back to bed.
Such a writer you are! I love your "Mr. Caden" song - I wonder if you sing it like I sang it as I was reading it... I love the little jingles I have sang to my girls over the years - they will always make my heart feel at ease... I love when I can slow down enough to savor a sweet child moment and not be so rushed to let it pass by... hope that the hurts won't linger - good to talk about those that they miss and draw pictures and look at pictures and share lots of memories...
so, so sweet. Sweet boy. Sweet mama. No wonder it's a perfect fit!
That's the second time you've made me cry in the past couple of days!
I just finished commenting on Audrey's blog about this very thing, how few and far between the snuggles get...
seriously Mer, you need to buy stock in Kleenex...another great story of your life...thanks for sharing...
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